VH Corner

A Knight’s Tale

Synopsis: A peasant turns into a knight.

It was kinda cheesy with the guy from Dark City and his one eye that goes every which way but straight being a big jerk in the movie while trying to woo the girl that looked like Lisa Bonet’s little sister. She doesn’t fall for that! She likes the n00b wannabe knight who only wants to compete in jousting.

Through parts of it, I felt like I was watching a renaissance festival. The sets were very cheesy looking. Still it wasn’t that bad yet until that dance scene at the banquet. Then the movie just turned lame lame lame. They started doing riverdance and modern dance stuff and the music was horrible and oh god. Stupid movie.

Rating: D-

Gosford Park 

Directed: Robert Altman
Starring: Maggie Smith, Michael Gambon, Kristin Scott Thomas, Camilla Rutherford, Charles Dance,  Tom Hollander, Natasha Wightman, Jeremy Northam, Trent Ford, Ryan Phillipe, Clive Owen

Synopsis: A night in the life of 1932 dinner party that goes from the fancy guests to the help and wait staff.

I like some Robert Altman films. I loved The Player and  Short Cuts, but The Gingerbread Man bored me. I love ensemble films so I thought I would love this one.

There were way too many people in this movie to figure out what the hell was going on. Maybe if they did some kind of introduction but things moved so fast that I never figured out how some people were related to others in the movie. You had all the rich, snobby people that gathered for a hunting party and then you had all their valets/maids that came with them.

I think they could have lost about half the people and it wouldn’t have lost anything. The main plot point was good and I liked the ending. It also had Clive Owens in it and he’s really cool.

Rating: C+

Tags: Camilla Rutherford, Charles Dance, clive owen, gosford park, Jeremy Northam, kristin scott thomas, Maggie Smith, michael gambon, Natasha Wightman, robert altman, Ryan Phillipe, Tom Hollander, Trent Ford

The Mexican

Directed: Gore Verbinski
Starring: Brad Pitt, Julia Roberts, James Gandolfini, J.K. Simmons

Synopsis: A guy goes to Mexico to pick up a cursed gun to sell it while his girlfriend begs him to quit his criminal activities.

I actually like all the actors in the movie but I thought Julia Roberts was just whiny and screechy when she was fighting with Brad Pitt. That was annoying. James Gandolfini made the entire movie.

Rating: C-

Tags: brad pitt, gore verbinski, J.K. Simmons, James Gandolfini, julia roberts, the mexican

The Bourne Identity

Directed: Doug Liman
Starring: Matt Damon, Franka Potente, Chris Cooper, Clive Owen, Brian Cox

Synopsis: A man wakes up with amnesia while assassins are after him and he seems to have butt-kicking skills for reasons unknown.

I enjoyed the movie. I was confused why they showed all the agents and then they all died right away. They actually showed one guy in the beginning and I never saw him again. I was excited that the guy from the Croupier was in the movie but he only got to talk right before he died so it seemed like a waste.

It was amusing to watch Run Lola Run lady start talking in German randomly.

Rating: B+

Tags: bourne identity, brian cox, Chris Cooper, clive owen, doug liman, Franka Potente, matt damon