VH Corner

Shrek has to meet Fiona's parents in a Hollywood-type town while Puss 'n Boots is sent in as an assassin.

I thought this movie was very funny. There were a lot of gags that are in the Naked Gun/Scary Movie parody-type movie vein that were worth a chuckle. I really liked the jokes that weren't a parody of something else.

I loved Puss 'n Boots. He was the best. There was a hairball scene that was too funny. I couldn't stop laughing. Then big kitty eyeballs to make Shrek feel sorry for him were good too. He reminded me of Bobbi when he would do something evil and then try to act all cute.

I had better hopes for this movie than the first one since I expected not much out of the first one and it was actually funny. I thought this one was really funny too. I was pretty much laughing the entire time. The lady next to me would agree. She would like to repeat the last line every once in a while and then laugh loudly. People are spazzy.

Rating: A

Orlando Bloom wins and steals Helen (I'd go with him too), which leads the Spartan king to use it as an excuse to start a war with Troy with his fiercest warrior Brad Pitt.

I saw this with Sharon and Kat when they were in town visiting. I thought it was fabulous. There were many naked men in this movie. mmmmmmmm. Okay, you didn't see anything more than from the waist up (and not even a butt shot, for shame!), but it was all very nice anyway. When they were dressed, they were hardly wearing anything and it was just all dandy.

Besides that, I enjoyed the action and I was emotionally invested in the characters which doesn't happen often with the big ole action movies. At times I was rooting for Brad Pitt's Achilles and other times I was rooting for Troy to beat up the Greeks because I liked both the people. Poor Orlando Bloom played the wussiest character in the world, but he sure did look pretty while doing it.

Compared to the Illiad, well, yeah don't do it. It's best to just view this as a separate movie since it only takes place over about a month instead of ten years. They only mention all the Greek gods instead of them playing a part in it. I read somewhere they thought if they did that it would be too much like Clash of the Titans, which is an awesome movie, but okay I get their point.

In other movie big fight scenes, I lose what is going on. I have no idea who is hitting who and it is just a big blur. I was actually able to know what was going on, so that was impressive. Some guy had a huge war hammer that was cool. There was also a neat trick with flaming balls coming down onto a beach. The archers in the movie were awesome and I guess I said that outloud in the theater according to Sharon and Kat.

I found myself gripping my fingers and arms at times, so I guess certain parts were tense! Also, Brad Pitt did some crazy jumping in the air thing when he was fighting a lot. I thought it was funny and cool at the same time. He's quite spazzy! Poor Odysseus had a very small part and I didn't even know who he was until the very end of the movie when they finally said his name. I thought he should have been brought up more.

I laughed when they made the Trojan horse. I knew they were going to build it, but I just had Monty Python flashbacks about the wooden bunny and then the phrase, "Well if we built a large wooden badger…" I also informed Sharon when they were looting the dead bodies of their enemies and when they retreated once I said "Run away!" I'm sooo funny.

It was a long movie, but I didn't mind it. I thought it only dragged slightly in the very beginning, but it didn't after that. I only saw Sharon look at her watch once towards the very end (when a bunch of stuff was going on too ), but she might have beforehand.

I would recommed this movie to any woman (or man) that likes to see scantily clad, very buff, tanned men. I thought the fighting and storyline was cool too but I don't know if I would have enjoyed it so much without the nakedness.

Rating: A-

Jude Law sleeps with all of the women in New York.

Dear lord, even Jude Law can’t save this insipid movie. It was horrible and boring. It was also all over the place. I wasn’t even annoyed by him talking to the screen throughout the movie, but I could see how others might have been. The entire movie didn’t really have a point. It seemed like it wanted to, but it didn’t.

You are introduced to Alfie and shown what a shallow guy he is. You are shown a few relationships he is already in, but never know anything really about his girlfriends or conquests. They are all carboard cut-out characters. I don’t even remember their names. He screws over all of those women and even his friend, but tries to charm his way out of everything. that’s still not the most annoying part.

The movie almost stops to introduce one relationship that is supposedely going to change everything about him, but we still know nothing about the girl. Then she is suddenly psycho so he breaks up and moves on. Huh? Then he thinks he has met his match. Then he hasn’t. He stops about 10 times in the movie to ponder what he is really doing with his life and keeps saying he is changing, but then doesn’t.

Finally he gets screwed over himself by everyone he ever screwed over. He apologizes for all of it and then he rambles on for about five minutes at the camera about nothing. We have no idea if he has learned his lesson, if he is going to treat other human beings decently, or if he is going back to his old ways since he just lost everything. I was so bored and he rambled so much that I had no idea what he was saying.

Did I give the movie away? it’s so shallow, I don’t think so. I didn’t give major, major plot points away and I still don’t think the movie ever had a point beyond Jude Law smiling at the camera. that’s just not enough.

Grade: D-

A son's mother has been in a coma for years in East Germany. She missed the Berlin Wall coming down along with all the other changes. Now that she's awake, she can't be excited so he tries to hide the fact that everything's different.

I saw this movie with Jen. We were the only ones in the theater besides this other random guy that decided to sit in the same row as us even though there were six other rows. It was a very tiny theater for the artsy fartsy foreign movie.

Anyway, I lied in my description up there. His mom wasn't in a coma for years but just 8 months. Berlin changed tons in a short time after the wall came down. I thought it was interesting to see what it used to be like and then how they changed it. I really didn't know too much about socialist government and a lot of it confused me since all I know is capitalism.

It was a funny movie though, especially when he was recreating news casts so his mom could watch tv and not suspect anything was different. It was also very sweet. I really enjoyed it. I don't know if anyone else will ever watch this movie, but I do recommend it. It was a nice little movie and educational too!

Rating: B

Russell Crowe commands a big boat in some fancy pants.

Russell Crowe actually pulled off wearing the ruffly shirt. He also seems to love making movies with that guy that was also in A Beautiful Mind since he is the doctor in this movie.

The doctor gets very excited about visiting the Galapagos islands, which just made me say Croco-stimpy a whole bunch. And when I got tired of saying that and laughing at myself, I would sing "Happy Happy Joy Joy".

There were times that I couldn't follow what was going on since their accents were a tad thick or they just mumbled or something. I kept asking if what I thought was going on was right since Jer kinda watched this on the plane on the way back from Germany. Sometimes I was right.

Anyway, I didn't expect this movie to get tense and exciting but it did! I expected this movie to be a little over the top in its epicness and all that stuff, but it wasn't too much. There were moments but they were very brief.

Rating: A-

The Hulk
Director: Ang Lee

Unlike any other comic book character, a wacky science experiment goes haywire, leaving Bruce Banner to become a large angry green man.

I’ll try to start this out in a positive way and say that I liked how it had frames on the screen like comic book panels. That was cool. I think that was the only cool part though.

I thought the acting was horrible. There was no chemistry between any of the actors with one another. Having the Hulk being a complete animation was a big mistake I think. They should have some something similar to either Golem in Lord of the Rings or Mr. Hyde in League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.

The Hulk was my favorite thing in kindergarten. I had an Incredible Hulk lunchbox. I loved that. I wish I still had it. I used to watch the show all the time when I was a kid. I never remember the hulk being a super bouncy ball. What was up with all the bouncing? It wasn’t like he was super angry and couldn’t control his rage. It was like he was a bouncy ball that couldn’t control his bouncing.

This movie was seen over Netflix with Kaile. He had to leave to go somewhere so we stopped it early. We thought the movie only had a few more minutes left and never had the desire to finish the rest of it. We returned it to Netflix and then found out from others that there was about another 20-30 minutes after we were done watching it. I am so glad we didn’t finish it. I don’t think I could have taken any more bouncing.

*bounce bounce bounce bounce*

Rating: F

Uma Thurman is back to finish off her list of killing people.

Wow! I can't wait to see the two movies back to back as one big giant ass movie. This second movie had a lot more dialogue in it and not as much fighting. The fighting it did have was awesome. It didn't have goofy Monty Python-style spurting blood from the first, which was hilarious, but the fight scene with Darryl Hannah's character tops any other fight scene. I can't give away why it was so awesome because it would ruin it for whoever is going to watch it, but I almost kick myself in the face with my knee going "ooooh oow gah!" I think that's a good reaction.

This movie explains everything you wanted to know about the first movie and it has little random stories that Tarantino likes to put in there. I really enjoyed this movie and didn't think it was too long. Of course I also took a little nap during the beginning with some scenes with Mr. Blonde. oops! I didn't miss what was going, but I missed whatever he said to Uma Thurman. Maybe that's why it didn't seem too long, but when it came up with the "Final Chapter" the guy behind us said "Thank god." Shut up dumb man!

Finally, this movie has a funny old asian man with a super long white beard that he likes to grab and flip. He was too funny.

Weeeee for an overall awesomely fun movie to watch. The two parts really need to be seen together though.

Rating: A

Lindsey Lohan showing off her big boobs as a teen that was previously home schooled in Africa then sent to a public school. She is drawn into a scheme of deceit where she becomes as evil as the rich snobby girls she is trying to topple. "The Plastics."

It was actually pretty funny and not overly cheesey. It takes the "clique" clashes to an extreme but still has many good scenes. Only part that I thought dragged was during a party scene that just seemed to take to long to get to the point where she pukes on the guy and loses her "real" friends.

Not a bad renter recommendation.

LamW - 0

Michael Moore directs this documentary about guns and violence in the U.S.

It was better and different than what I expected. I thought it was going to be a gung-ho rant against guns and stuff, but it wasn't. I didn't know Michael Moore was a member of the NRA.

I would recommend this movie. It is interesting when he compares the U.S. to Canada and especially people's perception of the country on the other side of the border (both U.S. and Canadians). His interview with Charleton Heston is scary.

He also uses the song Take the Skinheads Bowling, but it isn't the Camper Van Beethoven version. Jer had never heard this song when I started singing along to it. Now we have it and he has heard what a lovely song it is thanks to this movie.

Rating: A