Hellboy

Ron Perlman is a demon conjured up by the Nazis during WWII, but ends up working as an agent of the Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defense kinda sorta fighting bad guys when he feels like it.

I know nothing about the comic book. I was not even familiar with the comic even existing before the movie came out. I thought it looked pretty bad from the trailers, but they can lie.

It started out with an interesting premise with some crazy Nazi/WWII/supernatural spin on the entire thing and how Hellboy was created. It was even okay when a new guy was brought into the Bureau in the present day to meet an older Hellboy and the guy who raised him to be a good guy instead of evil.

Then Selma Blair comes into the picture and brings everything down. I really hate her. She annoys me in every movie she is in. I don’t think she can act, but I think her worst acting is in this movie. She is so monotone the entire movie. She’s very distracting and, of course, Hellboy is fascinated with her pyro character. There’s also a brilliant scene where she is in a hospital that knows she can start fires with her mind, and she has a nightmare that makes her entire body burst into flames. Do they have her in a fireproof room? Of course not. She burns the entire hospital down. SMRT.

The main plot of the story is some big, bad guy that originally pulled Hellboy out of whatever dimension he came from and come back to finish up the job and needs Hellboy to start the apocalypse. The bad guys are not scary at all. They make these creatures that look like the monster from Predator, which is just not very creative at all. Hellboy calls the creatures Stinky, which is pretty funny. Hellboy makes lots of one-liners that sound like they are trying too hard, hoping that one will catch on with all the kiddies watching the movie.

The entire movie seemed like it was trying too hard to be cool rather than concentrate on something that is fun and entertaining like a comic book movie should be on the lowest level. Anything above that would be cool, like Spiderman or Batman Begins, but I’d be happy with fun. This wasn’t too much fun.

Rating: C

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