TAR: Bare Minimum

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Amazing Race
She’s a Little Scared of Stick, but I think She’ll Be OK!

I love it when the season comes to the point where they have to drive stick shifts. I’ll say this every season. Why do people come on the show that do not know how to drive a stick shift? They make them drive one at least once every season. Learn it!

Order teams left the pit stop:

  1. Christie & Jodi – 12:34pm
  2. Kisha & Jen – 12:36pm
    (Read below about why it wasn’t exciting enough to list the times everyone left after the first two groups)
  3. Tammy & Victor
  4. Margie & Luke
  5. Cara & Jamie
  6. Mel & Mike
  7. Mark & Michael

Clue: Teams had to make their way on foot to the train station and ride the Trans-Siberian railroad to Novosibirsk, Russia. Once there, they had to race to Punkt Tehnicheskogo Osmotra to find their next clue.

Before reading the clue, Jodi hoped they were going to go somewhere warm since it was snowing on them in Siberia. After reading it, her face fell a bit. She did ask Christie if the place they were heading would be warm. Christie said if it had that many consonants in it, it wouldn’t be warm. Haha! They headed off on foot to the train station. When Kisha and Jen started out, Kisha said they should ask someone where the train station was located. Jen said they could follow the flight attendants. Kisha didn’t want to assume they were going the right way. Jen said they could just wander around since it was beautiful out. Kisha responded, “Beautiful, my ass!” They did run up to the flight attendants and they found the Central Railway Station together.  Once at the station, they found out that the train left at 10:26pm so all the other teams would catch up to them by then.

Trans-Siberian Rail

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When the teams piled into the trains, they realized they had sleeper cabins since it was  long ride. Kisha and Jen were laughing that their feet hung off the end of their beds and Kisha said she shouldn’t sit up too fast during the night or she might knock her head on the ceiling. The stuntmen brothers had no problems with their feet dangling off the edge. The next morning, while still on the train, Margie was telling Mike that she was amazed at how well she slept on the train. She thought the train lulled her to sleep. Mike jokingly responded that he “slept like crap, if anyone cares.” Luke gave him a tiny tear sign. Mike did find out that Margie & Luke were the ones that got Amanda & Kris booted off with the U-Turn. Mike said Luke was going to make a whole new archetype of the “sinister, deaf kid.” Victor said that any kind of allegiances started to fall away after Margie & Luke did the U-Turn.

Novosibirsk, Russia

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The sisters were the first off the train. When they got outside the gates, they turned left. They were followed soon after by the NFL cheerleaders and Margie & Luke who turned right. Jen pointed out to Kisha that everyone else went right. Kisha said she was heading right to a taxi, but when they got to it, it was leaving with someone else in it. They headed back to where all the open taxis were located. The NFL cheerleaders were the first ones in a taxi cab. They were taking off when they saw Margie & Luke so they told their driver to stop so Margie and Luke’s taxi could follow them. That was a good thing since Margie & Luke’s cab driver didn’t seem to know where they wanted to go. Mel & Mike were in the cab in third place followed by Tammy & Victor and the flight attendants. The stuntmen brothers were darting in and out of traffic trying to find a cab. They were almost getting hit in the process too. They did say they knew how to get hit by cars since they were stuntmen. Kisha & Jen were still looking for a cab! They finally found one after everyone else.

The NFL cheerleaders and Margie & Luke arrived at Punkt Tehnicheskogo Osmotra first and found the clue box. It was a detour.

Detour: Teams had to choose between two unavoidable aspects of Russian life. In Russian Bride, teams had to choose a car with a 4-speed manual transmission and drive to a Soviet-era apartment complex. Once there, they had to search it to find one of the waiting brides and drive her across town to a church and her waiting groom. After the photographer snapped their wedding picture, the groom would hand over the clue. In Russian Snowplow, teams had to choose the same car and drive to a downtown stadium. Once there, each team member had to take a turn operating a cumbersome snow plow through a training course to receive the next clue.

The NFL cheerleaders asked Margie & Luke which task they should do. Luke wanted to do the snow plow since he thought it’d be easier and faster. He thought the bride one had too many steps involved.  Tammy & Victor arrived next and chose the snow plow after asking the first two teams who were still getting into their cars what they were doing. Mel & Mike arrived next and chose the bride task. Mike said he chooses detours based on what seems more fun. He said he would rather party with a virgin bride than a snow plow.

While leaving the parking lot, the other teams seemed to have no issue driving stick except for Victor. He peeled out of the parking lot, after driving off the curb, and then almost gave Tammy whiplash while she was saying he was a better driver than her. Wow!

The three teams pulled over at a gas station to get directions. Margie & Luke stayed in the car telling the cheerleaders they were going to follow them. The cheerleaders ran up to the gas station attendant to get directions. Victor saw a cab driver so he asked him for directions. Victor got the direction they needed to go and decided to just leave without sharing the information with any the other teams. Margie & Luke were on their tail though. They took off while the cheerleaders ran back to their car to follow too since the gas station guy had no idea. A little bit later on, Victor pulled over to get directions again. While Tammy was asking someone that didn’t know, Margie was getting directions from a lady that did know. Victor saw the lady point in a direction and took off as soon as Tammy was back in the cab. Margie honked her horn, but Victor didn’t stop. What they didn’t know is that Victor didn’t really have directions, but they did get some from the lady helping them.

Back at the detour clue box, the flight attendants arrived. They picked Russian Bride. The stuntmen were almost to the detour clue box talking about how they did not want to drive in that town. They were going to be in for a surprise! The stuntmen got to the clue box when the flight attendants were leaving. The stuntmen decided to do the Snow Plow. They were leaving the parking lot when the sisters arrived. They picked Russian Bride. Jen had a hard time starting the car and then said she was going to stay in first gear. Oh, that’s a bad idea.

Brides vs. Snow Plows

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Mel & Mike arrived at the apartment complex, which was huge. They finally found building four that had the Russian bride in it. They found flowers on a table, which they grabbed and started knocking on doors. When no one responded, they kept going up another flight and knocking some more. They finally found their bride. They got her in the car and were off. Mel was telling her how pretty she was and Mike said, “I know. Wouldn’t you rather have her than a snow plow?”

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Victor kept stalling out on the road. He said it was hard to drive stick in the snow. Errr….I guess I don’t see it being any harder when I drive my car with a stick shift in the snow. Maybe I’m missing something that only the non-stick-driving crazies understand. The NFL cheerleaders were laughing because they passed Tammy & Victor who tried to ditch everyone! Margie & Luke somehow managed to get behind everyone, but they were all really close to the stadium.

When they arrived, the NFL cheerleaders and Margie & Luke were having problems trying to find the correct snow plow. The Russian guys were just staring at them not saying anything. Tammy & Victor ran back a bit to the other side of the obstacle course and found a guy to show them how to do it. The cheerleaders were yelling that no one would let them get in a snow plow, but they weren’t on the training course. They finally ran to the side that Tammy & Victor started on and found a snow plow that was part of the detour. Margie was inside some truck when Luke found out where they should go and they headed over to the correct snow plow.

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Back with the Russian Bride, Mike stopped to ask directions to the church. They got them, but Mel worried they were very complicated. The flight attendants stopped at a market to ask directions to the apartment complex to pick up their bride. Jodi told Christie the group of guys she was asking were all drunk. They didn’t really believe anything the guys said since they were laughing while telling them directions. Christie was disgusted when she got in the car since one guy touched her butt and asked for her name. I guess in this episode, it isn’t the Ugly Americans, but the Ugly Russians that are making their country look bad. Doh!

While driving to the snow plow, Mark asked if they would both be driving one and Mike said they both would. They had both driven big trucks before so they didn’t feel like it was going to be too tough. Mike said that brides were always more technical so he’d rather deal with a snow plow. Victor had finished up his lap and turned the snow plow around. Tammy got in so she could do it. She was a bit nervous since she had never driven anything bigger than a Mercedes. Jamie finished up. Cara said she would be fine as long as there was no manual transmission involved. Uh oh! Margie finished up and Luke got in for his turn.

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The sisters found the apartment complex and found building 4 pretty quickly. They ran in, grabbed their flowers and started knocking. They found their bride. The flight attendants found the apartment complex as the sisters were running past them with their bride. Kisha asked them if they were just now getting there. She was very happy to find out they were no longer in last place. The flight attendants found the right building and got their bride.

Back at the snow plows, Tammy finished up so they were in first place. They got their next clue.

Clue: Teams had to drive themselves to the largest library in Siberia, Bibliotekah and search for their next clue.

Both the cheerleaders and Margie & Luke finished up their snow plows around the same time. They were off the library. When driving away, Jamie said she didn’t know how to wash the windshield. Cara said she could drive with her head out the window. I think I’d figure it out.  Soon after all those teams left the stadium, the stuntmen arrived to the snow plows. Mark got in first.

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Mel & Mike found the church. Mel had put a flower from the bride’s bouquet behind his ear asking her if she liked it. They found the groom, all posed for a picture and got the clue to the library. The flight attendants were trying to find the church. They found someone that knew where it was and said he would show them how to get there with them following him in their car. Mark finished the snow plow and Mike finished up. They were off to the library. Jen was stalling out while driving. Kisha told her she was giving it too much gas. Jen told her she knew that’s what she was doing. At least she wasn’t blaming the snow! The flight attendants thanked the guy for showing them to a church, but it wasn’t the right church. They didn’t know that at that point so they got out and looked around. The bride was telling them it wasn’t the church so they were lost.  They went inside the church and asked for directions to the other one. They found out they needed to head towards the center of the city. Christie said they would be really lousy wedding planners.

Winter Marathon

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Margie & Luke and the cheerleaders found the library. After sliding on some ice, Victor found it too. Tammy was surprised to see the cheerleaders running up to the clue box before them. It was a road block.

Road Block: It asked who had stamina and absolutely no shame. After deciding, the teams found out that one team member had to participate in a marathon the way the brave locals do, in their underwear. The team member had to team up with two local runners and warm up for a mandatory 10 minutes.  Then they had to run 1.4 miles to the Novosibirsk Theater where the other team member will be waiting for them. The theater was the pit stop for that leg of the race.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a road block tied to a pit stop before. Interesting! Luke decided to do it. Neither Jamie or Cara wanted to do it, but Cara finally said she did. She was not happy when she read about the underwear part. Tammy said she would do it. Tammy said she would never be able to come to Russia again after running in her small underwear. The first three took off. Luke kept up a good pace. Pretty soon, Cara started walking fast. Tammy could not stop running since it was so cold so she passed Cara. Cara was getting a lot of whistles when she ran by. Police cars were turning on their sirens at her. Oh poor Cara.

Mel & Mike arrived at the library. Mike decided to do it. The stuntmen arrived soon after. Mark decided to do it. The sisters were finally  at the church with their bride. They got their picture and clue. They were off to the library. The flight attendants arrived soon after. Jodi was praying they didn’t have to drive anywhere else. Wait until they find out about the running! They went looking for a cab to follow to the library.

Pit Stop

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Jamie and Victor were waiting at the pit stop. Margie was rooting Luke along in a cab next to him. She arrived just before Luke went through the finish line. They went into the theater and found Phil. They came in first place. They won a trip to St. Lucia.

Tammy came running up next. Jamie asked her how far back Cara was and wasn’t pleased when Tammy said she was walking. Tammy & Victor checked in second place. Cara came running up soon after. The walking must have been brief. The NFL cheerleaders checked in third place.

Back at the marathon, Mike set out running. He said he wished he hadn’t been wearing snow boots, but he went with it. Mark left soon after Mike on his run. While driving, the sisters were sliding around on ice. The flight attendants were still looking for a cab to ask directions. Jen started having major trouble with the clutch. She said something was wrong with the car. She couldn’t get it to go into first gear.  She finally got it and took off again.

At the finish line, Mel asked Mike what hypothermia felt like. He didn’t think you could feel it. Mike was the first one around the bend. He finished not too soon before Mark arrived.  Mel & Mike were going up the stairs, but Mark and Mike were determined to run up the stairs of the theater faster. Mel & Mike did arrive to the pit stop before them though in fourth place. When Mark & Mike came into the theater, they totally missed Phil and wandered around a bit before they checked in.

The sisters arrived at the library. Jen said she would do it. She said she had to change into underwear since she doesn’t normally wear any. Hahaha! That’s awesome. Jen warmed up and took off before the flight attendants showed up. Christie decided to do it. She thought they were going to give her a skimpy outfit so she didn’t realize it was really just her underwear until the running started. She was wearing a thong. She got a lot of horns beeping at her while she was running. Jen got some whistling too. Christie said, “I knew it would be bare minimum, but I didn’t know it would be my bare minimum.” She didn’t know what her dad would think while watching it. Jodi slammed her finger in the door when she showed up at the road block. She got it wrapped up at the pit stop. She said it was cold enough that she couldn’t really feel it.

Jen came around the corner first. Kisha was yelling, “Come on America’s Next Top Model!” They checked into the mat in sixth place. Christie arrived and they checked in last place. It was a non-elimination round though! Phil let them know that they would run into a Speed Bump on the next leg. It would be a task that only they had to complete. They had to finish it before they continued racing. I was glad it was a non-elimination round since I would have felt bad that someone had to leave after running that marathon in their undies.

The order the teams came in at the pit stop:

  1. Margie & Luke
  2. Tammy & Victor
  3. Jamie & Cara
  4. Mel & Mike
  5. Mark & Mike
  6. Kisha & Jen
  7. Christie & Jodi

Questions

  1. Were you glad it was a non-elimination round?
  2. What did you think about Victor following the other teams and then ditching them when he found information out without sharing it first?
  3. Will teams ever learn how to drive stick shift before getting in this race?

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