Amazing Race: Dumb and Dumber

Amazing Race
Nanna Is Kickin’ Your Butt

As I have mentioned many times before. I love it when people on the race are dumb. They entertain me immensely with their horrible decisions.

The teams started out in Los Angeles, like they have done before. That in itself isn’t very exciting, but teams  never last long in the starting city before they jet off to another country. The twist at the very start of the episode was that the teams would have to figure out how to get to the airport using only public transportation. How did they not do this until now? That’s awesome! L.A. has horrible public transportation! Should be good to watch the teams try to figure this one out.

Now how about those teams? Team introductions and first impressions:

  • Models  – Blank stare guy and girl from Miss Teen USA pageant. Sure they make fun of her for being dumb about “South Africa and the Iraq, such as” but what about the dude’s hair? It scares me!
  • Cowboys -They both win things in rodeos and ride bulls. Yee-haw!
  • Father/Daughter – He is a professional baseball coach that coached the World Series Philadelphia Phillies. No idea about his daughter since she didn’t get to be introduced.
  • Brothers – One is gay and the other isn’t. The gay one said that when he saw Miss Teen South Carolina was on the race he “pooped himself.” Then he did a perfect impression of her speech from the competition. Awesome.
  • High School Sweethearts – He lost their life savings in a business.  I can’t wait for him to lose all their money along the way.
  • Big Brother Couple – They met on Big Brother and she apparently can’t tell time. Awesome!
  • Triathlon Team – Grandmother and granddaughter have both competed in triathlons. Grandma is 71 years old.
  • Undercover Detectives – One guy looks way too big for him not to be on steroids. Way to go detectives.
  • Lawyer Ladies – They are best friends and moms. Not much else is said about them at this point.
  • Married Parents – The dad already admitted he’ll say things to piss people off. Oh really?
  • Lesbians – They want to be the first all female team to win, which still hasn’t been done yet.

The first three teams that arrived at the airport would get on the first flight. The rest of the teams would get on the flight that left over an hour later. The teams ran to open up their clues and found they were flying to Santiago, Chile.

The lesbians were concerned since they said to them public transportation was like not using the valet at the restaurant. The cowboys didn’t know what to make of public transportation since the city that Cord lives in has one light and it is always flashing yellow. A few teams saw a bus and asked the bus driver how to get to the airport. She told them to walk east to Union Station and then take a FlyAway bus. The triathlon team and detectives were running together except the guys couldn’t keep up. That’s when one of them said that “Nanna” was kicking his butt.

Married parents and father/daughter found the metro station. Joe actually knew where it was located since he knew downtown L.A. pretty well. He thought it would be quicker than the bus. The brothers and models made it on board right before the doors closed. Triathlon and detectives just missed it. They were informed the next train didn’t show up for another 20 minutes.  Some other teams found the FlyAway bus, including the Big Brother couple. The brain trust guy Jeff said he thought they were going to Guatemala and brilliant non-clock-reading girl Jordon responded, “China?” I’ll respond with “Awesome! Go there!” While on the bus, Jordan was saying she had never heard of any of these place. Jeff responded, “Didn’t you ever watch Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?” Those two treasures were on the FlyAway bus with the lawyer ladies, lesbians, and high school sweethearts.

All those on the metro thought they would get to the airport first, but there were four teams fighting for three spots on the first plane ride. The four teams that were on the FlyAway bus thought they would get to the airport first and they would be fighting for those same three spots.  The bus won! The lawyers arrived to the reservation desk first asking for a flight to Chile. Big Brother got there second and Jordon asked for tickets to China. Oh dear. The lesbians were the last team standing in the first group that didn’t get an advantage for showing up early.  When the second group arrived, they couldn’t believe that they were not the first group of people to the airport. Oh sad pandas.

While waiting for the planes, the brothers started doing their impression of Miss Teen USA for some other teams. I don’t know if Caite heard him doing it. The cowboys decided they should exchange all their money. They thought the country they were going to was Brazil so they exchanged it all to that currency. The first three teams that had the early flight advantage soon learned that their plane had a malfunction so they needed to get their plane swapped out before taking off. The high school sweethearts talked to the reservation desk about getting different tickets. They booked on the same flight as the other eight teams. The other two teams switched too. Now everyone was even again.

Valparaiso, Chile

After landing, teams had to find a bus to take them 60 miles to Valparaiso, Chile. Once there, teams had to make their way to top of Ascensor Villaseca to find their next clue.

The lawyers, Big Brother, models, and high school sweethearts found the first bus out of the airport at 12:15pm. The lesbians found the second bus, which left only five minutes after the first one. The cowboys got on it too, but that’s when they found out their Brazilian money was no good there. They needed Chilean money. They went to go exchange it, hoping they wouldn’t miss the bus. They didn’t make it. They would have to get on the next bus along with triathlon team and detectives that left at 12:30 pm.

The first bus arrived in Valparaiso. Big Brother found the first taxi, followed by models, lawyers and sweethearts. The second bus arrived soon after they all left in their taxis. Married parents got a taxi first out of the second bus, followed right after the father/daughter team. When did they even get on a bus? That must have been cut due to cowboy financial troubles. I had been wondering where some of the teams were hiding. The models’ taxi driver was slightly crazier than Big Brother so they got to the clue box first. It was a road block. It asked who had the balance of a cat and the courage of a lion.

Road Block: Teams would have to balance a 150 feet above the ground and walk a cable the length of a football field. They would have a cable horizontally above them that they could grab onto to, but it was very windy so there was a lot of swaying. Everyone did have a harness tied from their waist from the cable up above them.

Caite decided to do it. She said she didn’t have a fear of heights and she was a tomboy at heart. Big Brother arrived next and Jordan decided to do it.  She did it because Jeff was scared of heights. She said she was scared, but not as much as him.

While the high school sweethearts and lawyers were stuck in traffic, the married parents, brothers and father/daughter arrived at the clue box. Joe said he would do it since Heidi is afraid of heights. Jordan was going to do it. He said if he fell and something breaks, then so be it. Allie did it since her dad said she was a lot more graceful.

The first four people were still all crossing the cables when the lesbians arrived at the clue box. Brandy said she would do it. She said she was fearless but also seemed to be freaking out a bit before getting on the cables. Caite got across  the cables first so the models were in first place with their next clue.

Clue: Teams had to take one of the 120-year-old funiculars to go to Ascensor Artilleria, down the hillside, to find the next clue.

While they headed off to find the funicular, the last bus arrived with the detectives, grandmother/daughter and cowboys.  The lawyers and high school sweethearts arrived at the clue box. Shawne and Adrian said they would do it.

Over on the cables, Dan decided to make a little movement like he was going to turn around the other way, but lost his footing. He was just hanging from the cables overhead with his feet not on any cable. He didn’t know what to do. Dan asked his brother what he should do. He was told to try to pull himself up or throw his leg around the cable to get back up there, but Jordan said, “Oh, I can’t watch this.”  Dan just started scooting himself along the cable that his harness was tied to. Brandy was psyching herself out. Her legs were shaking so much. She sat down on the cable for a moment to gather himself. Shawne was coming up behind Brandy by talking to herself saying, “God is with me. God is with me.” Brandy finally pulled herself up onto the cable again and started to move.

Jordan was the second one across, making Big Brother in second place. When they read the clue, they read that they must only travel by funicular. Jeff wondered, “What’s a funicular?” Around that time, the models were arriving at some steps. Caite told Brent, “Let’s just go down.” She hoped they were going the right way. They really needed to worry about not getting there the right way.

Dan made it across so the brothers were off in search of a funicular. Big Brother found some locals to point them in the right direction. Big Brother and the brothers were both in the same funicular. They were assuming that the models were pretty far ahead. Dan said, “I guess I underestimated that team.” Oh no, you didn’t! Around that time, the models got to the clue box and found the next clue.

Clue: It said it was time to paint the town. The city likes its buildings to be brightly-colored. When the salt air damages the paint, the city pays for the color to be restored. Teams would join in with the beautification effort. Teams had to choose four cans of paint and supplies before carrying them up a steep incline of Templeman Street, searching for the house matching their paint color. When they finished painting an unfinished section of the house, the painter would give them their next clue.

Caite picked up the four cans of paint and Brent carried the ladder. They started wandering. I’m not sure if they were on the right street or not, but they were complaining that they couldn’t see any painters or houses that matched their paint. The brother teams arrived at the clue box and picked up their paints. They found the street right away so I’m guessing the models were wandering around lost.

Allie finished up at the cables, followed close behind by Joe so the father/daughter and married parents teams were off to find the funicular. While they were both on the same funicular, Joe talked about Allie kicking his butt and passing him on the cables. Brandy finally made it across. She was shaking and sweating. They were in sixth place.

The models were still wandering around when they came across Big Brother that still hadn’t found their house. They all looked up a steep hill and figured they probably had to look up there to find their houses.

The detectives arrived at the roadblock. Louie decided to do it. Adrian was still slowly working his way across. Shawne got across the cables. Louie was about to pass Adrian, which I think put a fire under his feet to get moving. The triathlon team and cowboys were still in their cabs heading to the clue box when father/daughter and married parents picked up their paints.

Big Brother finally found a house to paint so they set up at the baby blue house that matched their paints and got to work. Jeff told Jordan to paint like in Karate Kid. The models finally found their house too. Where were the brothers? The lesbians picked up their paints and started off in search of their house.

Big Brother finished their house and got their next clue.

Clue: Teams had to make their way on foot to the next pit stop, which was Palacio Baburizza, a 90-year-old chalet.

They asked a passerby in a car where it was located and then started running in that direction. The models finished up second and headed off. I still don’t know where the brothers were located.

Louie passed Adrian on the cables. His wife said he is scared of heights and he was bigger than others out there so she was proud of him. The triathlon team arrived at the road block. Shannon decided to do it. Jody said she had the “balance of a drunken elderly woman on stilts.” The cowboys arrived and Cord decided to do it saying that Jet could talk him into jumping off a cliff.  Adrian got about halfway across the cables when he lost his balance and fell off. Thank goodness for the harness! A safety specialist came out to help and said they had to go back to the other side. He said he wanted to continue on so the specialist stayed there while he tried to get up. He tried and said he couldn’t do it so they attached a rope to him and dragged him quickly back to the start. Meanwhile, Louie made it across and the detectives were off in search of a funicular. Shannon and Cord were on the cables racing against each other while Adrian was seeing if he could try again with his arms being really fatigued.

Pitstop


Big Brother found the pit stop and Phil. They were the first team to arrive at the pit stop. As the winners of the leg, they won a trip to Vancouver, B.C.  Shortly after the models arrived at the pit stop in second place, but Phil told them they were supposed to take the funicular. Since they walked, they had to take a 30-minute penalty. There was a lovely bench nearby for them to wait.

The lawyer ladies found their paint and found the hill they had to climb. I had been wondering forever about the brothers and they were finally shown! Dan had dropped a brush. Dan just wanted to say someone took it, but Jordan said they should spend some time looking for it. They had apparently not found the houses to paint yet either.

The father/daughter team wandered into someone’s house and found a room that was halfway painted. Two painters came out and were talking to them in Spanish, but of course, they didn’t know what each other were saying. Allie started to paint, asking if it was the right red. What are the chances they would wander inside a house that was halfway painted with the same color that they had on them? Meanwhile, the lawyer ladies found their house to paint. Married parents and lesbians were still looking for their house to paint. Lawyer ladies finished quickly and were off to the pit stop.

Back at the cables, Cord was cruising and over to the other side quickly. Shannon was about halfway across. Adrian was still rubbing his arms, trying to decide what to do while his wife was on the other side wondering what was going on.

While the models were sitting on the bench with 20 minutes left, they said they had written race details on their hands. I guess reading the clues was too hard? Caite said her clues had rubbed off so that’s probably why they forgot. Yes, that’s it. While they were pondering their mistakes, the lawyer ladies checked in with Phil in second place.

The brothers were still looking for their missing brush when the detectives and cowboys were picking up their paints. Shannon finally got across the cable while Adrian still hadn’t moved. Dana started yelling at him saying they were the last team so he had to do something. He finally decided to try again.

Allie was painting away at a house while the real painters were looking on and laughing with their faces in their hands. They finished. The real painter said in Spanish that it was ugly and they didn’t know how to paint. Allie was asking for a clue. He just looked at her confused. Steve and Allie finally realized their mistake.

The detectives found some graffiti on a random blue building and started to paint. When they started to paint, they realized it was not the same color blue, which you could tell by looking at the two colors before actually painting the wall.  Mike thought it was the same color since they were covering up the graffiti. Louie said he didn’t think it was the right house. Was there a painter nearby to give you a clue? No. Way to detect things!

The brothers gave up looking for the brush and found their yellow house. They started painting. The cowboys were painting too. The lesbians arrived at the houses amazed at how people passed them while they were lost looking for houses. The cowboys finished and headed off to the pit stop. The triathlon team picked up their paint. Shannon was excited about all the different muscle groups she was working. I would not be excited by that.

The cowboys arrived at the pit stop in third place when they got to the road block in last place. Amazing. The models sat sadly on the bench looking on. Adrian was slowly making his way across the cables again. The brothers arrived at the pit stop, worried they would get a penalty for losing the brush. They did arrive in fourth place, but they did get a 15-minute penalty for losing it. They had to join the models in waiting. The models had four minutes left before they could check in. Right behind the brothers though were the married parents and father/daughter team.  They checked in with Phil in fourth and fifth place.

The detectives finally found their house and started painting. The lesbians were finished and racing to the pit stop. The models had one minute left to wait. I had no idea the teams were so close together when they got their penalty. The lesbians checked in with Phil in sixth place. Adrian was still cruising across the cables when the models finally got to check in with Phil in seventh place. Way to show the world you are not dumb. Caite said she had done a great job proving herself. You keep thinking that.

Adrian was telling himself to not let his arms get tired as he was getting closer to the halfway point where he had lost his balance before. If he hadn’t then he would be almost be done! The brothers were allowed to be checked in before any other team had arrived. They were in eighth place. The detectives arrived in ninth place with Phil and were shocked at how they were almost in last place.

Meanwhile, Adrian was at the same point he dropped and he started shaking. He couldn’t balance himself and dropped again. Dana said she was proud of him for trying. Back at the pit stop, the triathlon team checked in with Phil. Since that only left the high school sweethearts, Phil went to save them from killing themselves. They were hoping for a non-elimination, but it wasn’t the case. Phil told them they had been eliminated from the race.

The order teams arrived at the pit stop:

  1. Jordan & Jeff – Big Brother
  2. Monique & Shawne – Lawyer Ladies
  3. Jet & Cord – Cowboys
  4. Steve & Allie – Father/Daughter
  5. Joe & Heidi – Married Parents
  6. Carol & Brandy – Lesbians
  7. Brent & Caite – Models
  8. Dan & Jordan – Brothers
  9. Louie & Michael – Detectives
  10. Jody & Shannon – Grandmother/Granddaughter

Questions

  1. Did Caite “prove herself” during the race or does she come off as dumb as she did during the Miss Teen USA competition?
  2. Did karma come back to the brother team due to the scathing impression of Cate’s Miss Teen USA speech?
  3. Do you think Dana should have done the road block instead of Adrian who was such a big guy? Could she have even made it across? She never said she wished she had done it so it seemed she just wanted him to do it, even if he couldn’t.
  4. Any favorites so far? Any teams driving you crazy already?
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