Amazing Race: Insufficient Tossing

boatpeeing

Join the teams for the second leg in London where they learn how to be one of the Queen’s Guards, flip pancakes while running and pee over the side of boats. Continue on to see what Amy, Steve and I made of all of that and the massive amount of crying.

Before we started watching,  we all declared that we are still scared of the dentist team. So much intenseness! Then we picked who we thought would be going home at the end of the episode. Amy picked the Survivor team, I picked the dating couple, and Steve went with the surfers even though about a quarter way through the episode, he changed his vote to the firefighters. Amy asked, “Is that allowed?” I said I thought it he was cheating. Since there is so much on the line with our guesses, we just moved on.

The teams started off in the U.S. Virgin Islands. Steve said, “I want to go there, but I have had sex before so I guess I can’t.” Amy was sad that those were the rules since she couldn’t go either. The teams learned they were headed to London on one of two flights. It didn’t really matter much what flight anyone got on eventually so we’ll ignore talking about that. Instead let’s mention that the wrestlers talked about how all the other teams thought they were dumb, but they were a force to be reckoned with. I thought, “You did capsize that boat in the first leg when no other team did that.”

Then there are the surfers. They mean well and are sweet to each other, but wow. They just seem naive and sappy. Amy is not sappy though because when she saw the scientists give the surfer girl a pair of shoes since she lost one of her shoes in the first leg, she said, “OMG, do not share shoes! WTF! Are they friends?!?” She does not like teams getting along on this race. She is also not a big fan of the hat the girl in the dating couple is wearing.

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After teams landed in London, they had to take a taxi to Tower Bridge and be given a detour clue by two scary sequined people. Their choices were to be part of the Queen’s Guard or participate in a Parliamentary Pancake Race. In the Queen’s Guard one, they had to dress up like British soldiers and work with a drill instructor to learn a series of steps and follow commands. They would get their next clue if they are judged as doing everything correctly. In the pancake race, teams had to dress up as chefs and make a perfect pancake before running a race in 1 minute and 15 seconds while constantly flipping the pancake in a pan. If they dropped their pancakes or didn’t do it in the time limit, they had to run the race again. We thought they both sounded hard since following all the commands of the march while wearing the goofy outfit and being judged could take a while and the other one involved flipping of pancakes, which none of us would be good at doing.

All of the teams on the first flight (dentists, gay couple, wrestlers, cyclists, scientists) chose the guard one with the exception of the surfers. While the teams were trying to figure out all the complicated steps and turns and marches with the guard, the surfers made some pancakes and finished the race on their first try. They made it look super easy and were given their next clue telling them to go to Paddington Station and take a train to Oxford. I screamed, “Paddington Bear!” as soon as I saw the station name and startled Steve. I forgot he didn’t know how much I loved Paddington Bear when I was a kid.

The surfers were on their way to the train station when the dentists were trying their march for the first time with the judge. Now we know which detour everyone should have chosen. The judge was harsh, but hilarious. They turned the wrong direction a few times and were not in step with the instructor. They were told by the judge everything they did wrong as well as also telling them it was “absolutely disgusting.” He told the cyclists when they tried what they did wrong was “shocking.” The judge guy was hilarious! The dentists did complete it correctly on their second try. The cyclists also finished on their second try. One of them got excited and tried to kiss the judge but he did not want any part of it.

nokissing

The second flight arrived and everyone on that flight except the mom/daughter flight attendants chose the pancake race. When the mom/daughter team showed up at the guard task, it made the gay dating couple, wrestlers and scientists become paranoid about still being on the task with the other teams showing up. Girl wrestler became more and more frustrated with not getting it. She said, “I don’t know the words or anything!” when the instructor was trying to teach her the proper moves. She freaked out when the boat capsized last week, ready to give up when they hadn’t even gotten to the digging for treasure task. She seems like she is going to be a hot mess whenever things get rough. She hasn’t said any task is the hardest thing ever, but I’m just waiting for it to come out of her mouth.

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Over at the pancake race, the Survivor team, firefighters and dating couple showed up. The Survivor team were the first ones to run the race, but they didn’t make it in time. It then turned into the guy telling the girl that she had to run faster and she was too slow even though they were running the race at the same speed. I guess it was just all her fault anyway.

With the marching task, the wrestlers were being told that their arms were going to be torn off and used to beat them around the head. The mom/daughter team that picked the task because of their military backgrounds were struggling with the different kind of marching. They were not turning correctly and were told they were going to shove something through their ears and ride around like a moped. While going back to practice more, the mom said they were improving. I guess with that advice, it would seem that way?

With the pancakes, the dating couple talked about how they had been watching past seasons and studied other teams’ strategy. They had taken archery and crossfit, yet they were out of breath running around the track with a pancake. They did not make it through the first time around. The surfers finished the race with 20 seconds to spare and didn’t have to catch their breath. Maybe these teams should have taken surfing lessons before the show. The firefighters were busy making a pancake fire and terrible pancakes so they hadn’t even tried doing the race part of the task.

pancakefire

The dating couple, scientists and mom/daughter finally got through their marching task on their second attempts, leaving the wrestling team at the task all by themselves. When they had completed their fifth attempt, the judge said they had been ignoring his “worldly, Yoda-like advice.” I really want this guy to judge everything on Amazing Race.

The Survivor team finally finished the pancake race in the time limit so they moved on. Soon, the firefighters made some decent pancakes and started racing, but soon one of them dropped their pancake while flipping so they had to start over. The dating couple and firefighters had their next round of pancakes ready at the same time so both ran the race together. While the dating couple completed the task successfully (which is good since they were super out of breath again), the firefighters had to do it again since one of them had insufficiently tossed his pancake! The one that dropped it decided to run the race with not really tossing it at all. That’s not going to cut it, buddy!

pancakedropping

The wrestlers finally finished the marching task on their sixth attempt and the firefighters finally made it through the pancake race without dropping a pancake and with enough flipping on their fourth attempt. They were the last teams to head over to Oxford.

While the last few teams were finishing up the detour, the surfers arrived in Oxford and headed to a river where they had to get in a really shallow boat and one team member had to stand on the flat Cambridge end and use a big stick to push the boat through the shallow water while the other team member had to stand on the opposite Oxford end and wave a flag. They had to complete one lap around an island to get their next clue.

The surfers completed the task correctly with no issues. They make all the tasks look super easy. By the time they finished, the dentists, gay couple and cyclists were all in their boats at some point on the river. One of the gay guys dropped his flag in the water, which made the other one who was doing most of the work say, “Your only job is to stand there and hold the flag!”

onejob

The dentists finished the loop when they were told they were punting from the wrong end of the boat. They were standing on the wrong sides so they had to go do it over again. They passed the cyclists who asked why they were going back and then realized their mistake. Oops! I made a comment about how the surfers make the task look easy and Amy said, “Well, that’s like their business–standing on stuff in water.” Good point.

When the rest of the teams started to show up, it was getting very crowded in the river. Boats were running into each other. Whitney was not good about keeping her balance and fell in often. One time she even said she had only fallen in once and then promptly fell in again. I probably would have done the same, but that doesn’t stop me from laughing about it when it happens to others. She did hold onto her flag the entire time, unlike others!

fellinwater

Some teams that lacked upper body strength had problems with the task. It did look difficult since they didn’t have an oar, but just a stick to push themselves along the river. The gay couple made the comment that it was easy going one way since it was with the current, but not the other way since it was against it. I can understand that, but when they said the current was so strong, I couldn’t believe that. They showed it and there was a current, but it isn’t what I would call strong.  Even though the wrestlers and firefighters were one of the last teams to get in the boats, they were soon bypassing other teams like the gay couple, dating couple, scientists, and mom/daughter team.

Just when I thought I was done laughing at Whitney falling into the water because the Survivor team finished the task, a montage of other people falling in came on so I got to laugh at the girl in the dating couple, one of the scientists and both the mom and daughter falling into the river at different points.

Then, the daughter declared that she had to pee really badly. She wanted her mom to stop so she could lean over the side of the boat to pee. She had already fallen in the water once. Why didn’t she pee then? Instead, she just peed right next to some tourists. Amy said, “Are you kidding me? That is so tacky.” Steve asked, “Did she just piss her pants and everything? Wow. That’s exciting.” I was busy laughing at the shocked people that were in a boat right next to her.

Even with some of the teams struggling with the boats, they did eventually finish it, including the gay couple and scientists. The dating couple started to have a break down and cry because they had prepared so much for it. Amy said, “Well, apparently you didn’t prepare enough.” Even the wrestlers that did have a lot of upper body strength were still on the river when the dating couple started to cry.

Once the wrestlers finished, only the dating couple and mom/daughter teams were left. They both were confused about one part where the river split and they went the wrong way for a while. The mom/daughter team were another one that had been watching the show since the first season so they were freaking out that they were one of the last teams because they felt like they had prepared. Both of these teams were crying in frustration while they finished up the task. It also both led to them eventually crying in their taxis all the way to the next clue. There was so much crying. It was ridiculous. Amy, Steve and I all said at different times, “Stop crying!”

After finishing up the boat task, teams had to head to Christ Church College for their next clue. The surfers were there first since they were way ahead of everyone else. The clue told them how to get to the pit stop, but there was another clue that told them they could go grab an Express Pass and risk losing their current spot in the race. They decided to go for it since they thought they had a big lead on the other teams and thought the Express Pass was more important than coming in first for this leg. They had to find and run to a nearby pub. They found it and then headed off to the pit stop around the time the dentists arrived to get the Express Pass/Pit Stop clue. The dentists figured the surfers went for the Express Pass so they started to head towards the Pit Stop. The cyclists were right behind the dentists in heading to the Pit Stop.

The surfers were the first ones to arrive at the Pit Stop and won a trip to Sweden. After seeing that they got to stay at the Ice Hotel, it made us all want to go there. The dentists arrived at the Pit Stop in second place and looked a bit bummed, even though they said they were not perfect and weren’t always going to arrive in first place. Dorks. We did laugh at the guy saying that “Second is just the first loser.” You might be experiencing that some more on this race! The cyclists showed up in third place and had drawn Charlie Chaplin mustaches on themselves on the taxi ride over. There was a bit of a gap, then the Survivor team and gay couple checked in with Phil. The next group to arrive around the same time were the firefighters, wrestlers and scientists.

That just left the dating couple and mom/daughter teams. Guess what they were doing? Crying. They were all crying. Steve wanted them all eliminated for crying. While in a taxi, the daughter said it was scary. What was scary? We  have no idea. Since only one team could be last and no one could be eliminated for crying, the mom/daughter team came in second to last, leaving the dating couple to come in last place and be eliminated. They talked about being prepared. They would never be prepared. Amy said, “Thank goodness that hat is gone.”

What do you think about the dating couple going home? Are you glad that the hat is gone? What did you think about all the crying? Did the current look super strong? Would you have dropped the pancake while flipping it? Could you have done the guard task? Would you have peed in the river?

 

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