Amazing Race: Life Jackets are Hard

derpylifejacket

During the eighth episode, teams went to Malta where they dropped glassware, swam in the Blue Grotto and ran up slippery beams. We also got to witness the derpy scientist, Amy, not know how to put on a life jacket correctly before jumping into the water. First, it was way above her head before she gave up and took it off. Amy said, “It’s so embarrassing. She needs to change her name.” Come read what else, Amy, Steve and I said about this episode.

For this episode, we all picked different teams to come in last place. Amy picked the scientists since they were always getting lost. I said the wrestlers since they had a hard time with taxis and tasks and thinking. Steve said T&T because they just seem to be slow at everything and also had to do a speed bump in this episode. I said if none of us were right, then we really sucked at this game we play.

Teams were headed to Malta. Once there, they had to go pick up a tray with a bottle of liquor and two glasses. They had to carry that try up a lot of stairs and deliver it to a table to guys waiting to drink it. As soon as I saw the task, I laughed about the time I said I was very good at carrying things moments before I fell down some stairs and almost broke everything that I was holding in my hands. Graceful!

The teams took a ferry over to Malta. As soon as they were on the ferry, the cyclists sat by themselves which drove the other teams crazy. The wrestlers thought it was sneaky. Because being alone means being sneaky, the other teams all decided that they should u-turn the cyclists when they had a chance. Steve said, “I hate their little clique. I now want no one but the cyclists to win.”

Once the teams arrived at the bar to pick up the tray of liquor and drinks, they were told how it works. If they broke anything, they had to get a broom to clean it up before they loaded the tray up again to finish the task. Amy said, “Oh man, you have to clean up too.” I said, “Luke would not be good at this task.”

droppingglasses

The dentists and scientists didn’t even make it out of the door before they dropped their glasses. The surfers made it all the way up the steps and to the knights they had to deliver it to, but as Bethany was putting the tray on the table, one of her glasses broke so she had to start over.

While every team was very slowly going up the stairs, they all said at one time of another, “slow and steady.” Steve said to drink each time a team said it. Amy said she did not have that much alcohol in the house to play that game.

slowandsteady

The cyclists and wrestlers finished first right at the same time so they got their next clue. The cyclists found a taxi right away to get to the next location. The wrestlers asked if their taxi driver could call a taxi for them. The cyclists said he was doing that right now, but they told him he could cancel it after they took off. We were never able to see if a taxi did show up for them since the wrestlers didn’t believe that the cyclists had called a taxi for them so they had already run off to look for one. While they were looking for one, the dentists, surfers and T&T finished the task. Wherever T&T went, they found a taxi immediately. It seemed that the surfers were also having trouble, but they did have some locals tell them where to go to find one. The wrestlers thought they had found a taxi, but then it drove by them with the dentists in it. Doh!

They did finally find one, but it didn’t matter because once the teams showed up at the boat house, they could not get the clue until the next morning. That meant that all the stressing about not finding a taxi was unnecessary and it was okay that it took the scientists six tries to carry the trays to the knights. T&T had hoped their speed bump would be there, but it wasn’t, so they just had to sleep and wait along with all the other teams for the next morning.

The next morning, the road block had teams go out in two groups, 15 minutes apart from each other, to rappel down into the blue grotto before swimming to get the clue and bring it back to their partner waiting in a row boat. It was Misti, Alli and Tim in the first group. Misti got the hang of it really quickly. Amy said, “Dang! Lady dentist just goes for it!” Alli was behind her and when Te Jay looked up, he wondered where Tim was since it took him a while to get going. After landing in a boat with the team member, they jumped into the water to swim inside the grotto to get the clue. Everyone talked about how super blue the water was and they wished they had more time to just enjoy it, but they had to swim back for the race.

crazyblue

Even though Misti rappelled down the fastest, Alli was much quicker at swimming. She was also wearing less clothing than both Misti and Tim.  The cyclists were the first to go find a church for their next clue.

In the next group, Bethany was the fastest rappelling down with Robbie right behind her. Derpy scientist was last. It was no surprise that Bethany was a super fast swimmer so she was done before the other two even made it to the clue. Robbie swam into the grotto second and even though Derpy was struggling swimming with her life jacket over her head, she still managed to swim faster than Robbie.

The next task was a detour where it told teams nothing about either detour. They just had to pick a direction that said Flag or Shine. The cyclists got to the clue first and picked flag. It was a task where team members had to run up a greasy pole and try to grab a flag at the end of it. If they slipped off, they fell into the water and possibly smashed into the pole in the process. There were two yellow and two red flags. Each team member had to grab one of each color. The cyclists thought they could do it, but while they were watching a guy greasing the pole while sitting on it, he still managed to slip off. Super hard!

greasypole

Alli went first. She walked up the pole just before the grease started and then jumped for a close flag. That made it look easy, but that left the two red flags for Kym and those flags were at the very end of the pole. While they were trying it out, T&T and the dentists showed up. They hadn’t found the detour clue, but started to do the task. T&T put on their helmets for the task before they realized that they should probably go find the detour box and went off to find that and their speed bump that was right next to it. It took the dentists a little while longer to realize they were doing a task without any clue telling them to get there so they went looking too. After a few tries, the cyclists decided to see what the other detour was all about. I think I would have made the same decision. I didn’t know how anyone would complete this task.

helmetpaint

While all the other teams found the detour box, T&T were working on their speed bump, which was to paint the Maltese cross on a shield. It did not seem difficult because they had a stencil to use and they did have practice painting from the last leg. I did laugh at them wearing their helmets that were part of the flag detour.

The cyclists, dentists and wrestlers showed up at the shine detour at the same time. They had to take a chest piece and helmet and while wearing the armor, polish each other until it shined. While putting on the armor, Brooke said, “Is this for real?” Which made Steve imitate her like the valley girl she sounded like. The surfers thought the flag detour looked fun, but used their Express Pass since it was the last leg to use it.

T&T finished up their Speed Bump and went straight to the flag detour. They thought it would be easy until they tried it a few times. The scientists also showed up there, but Derpy couldn’t sprint up the pole due to her injury. Maya was extremely frustrated with her for not even trying, but they switched tasks.

polishingeachother

When the scientists showed up to the polishing task, Brooke was already having a whiny fit about polishing and being so far behind. Robbie kept asking her if she wanted to switch and Brooke finally said she did, even though they looked like they were halfway done with polishing. Soon after they left, the dentists finished the task. While watching all the teams work on shining, Amy said, “This challenge seems so tacky.”

brightshorts

Over at the flag task, T&T were trying for the 11th time to get the flag. I’m not sure why they hadn’t switched yet. They were thrilled to see the wrestlers show up and figured they were tied for last place. The first time Brooke fell into the water, she said she broke her ass.  After a few more tries, Robbie gave up and the wrestlers went back to the shining task.

The cyclists finished the shining task on their second attempt soon after the wrestlers showed up. The scientists finished soon after that. After 25 tries, T&T finally gave up on the flag task while the wrestlers were still shining. The wrestlers did finish before T&T but, of course, they couldn’t find a taxi. T&T had their taxi driver waiting for them and the wrestlers tried to steal it, but the driver wouldn’t let them. The wrestlers freaked out waiting for a taxi to come and knowing that T&T could finish at any moment. We knew it was all editing and they weren’t really that close, but it still seemed exciting.

The surfers got to the pit stop before everyone else and both won $10,000 each. The dentists showed up in second place, thrilled that they still hadn’t had to use the Save. The cyclists were in third place. The scientists showed up in fourth and for some reason Maya was super excited about it and ran around the pit stop for a lap and then clicked her heels. Steve said, “Jesus Christ! Settle down. Your forehead is going to explode.” Phil had to ask her what was up.  Maya said she just loves the Amazing Race. Okay, spaz.  The wrestlers came in fifth place, which meant T&T came in last place. They were eliminated. If only they had switched tasks sooner!

 

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