2017 Winter Movies

January and February are usually filled with a lot of horror movies, dumb action movies, and not really the best comedies. That doesn’t mean that I don’t want to still watch some of them. After watching many trailers, I have narrowed it down to nine that I want to check out, even if they are bad.

Big Dumb Action Movies

I love dumb action movies, but somehow have my standards where I don’t want to watch the xXx sequel, but I do want to see these two. Marci and I have seen every Underworld movie so we need to continue the tradition. The director for The Great Wall is the same as the one who directed House of Flying Daggers and I love watching that movie.

Underworld: Blood Wars

Starring: Kate Beckinsale, Theo James, Tobias Menzies

Directed by: Anna Foerster
Written by: Cory Goodman, Kyle Ward

Rating: R
Length: 1 hour 31 min.
Release Date: January 6, 2017

Kate Beckinsale is back in tight leather to fight a bunch of random creatures.


The Great Wall

Starring: Matt Damon, Pedro Pascal, Willem Dafoe, Tian Jing

Directed by: Yimou Zhang
Written by: Max Brooks, Edward Zwick, Marshall Herskovitz, Carlo Bernard, Doug Miro, Tony Gilroy

Rating: PG-13
Length: 1 hour 43 min.
Release Date: February 17, 2017

The Great Wall was apparently built to keep China away from supernatural creatures.


Creepers

These two horror involve creepy people in some way and, of course, Marci, Stacy, and I want to see them. I know Split is directed by M. Night Shyamalan who does not have a good track record these days, but I do like James McAvoy. Get Out seems like an odd movie to come from Jordan Peele but it looks so good and creepy!

Split

Starring: Anya Taylor-Joy, James McAvoy, Haley Lu Richardson

Directed by: M. Night Shyamalan
Written by: M. Night Shyamalan

Rating: PG-13
Length: 1 hour 57 min.
Release Date: January 20, 2017

Three teenagers are kidnapped by a guy with 24 different personalities and they try to convince at least one of them to set them free.


Get Out

Starring: Allison Williams, Keith Stanfield, Bradley Whitford, Catherine Keener

Directed by: Jordan Peele
Written by: Jordan Peele

Rating: R
Release Date: February 24, 2017

A black guy is dating a white girl and when he goes to visit her family, things on their huge estate do not seem right.


Silly Comedies

I haven’t laughed too much at the LEGO movie sequel trailers but the first movie was so good that I am hoping this will be too. Both Fist Fight and Bastards look dumb, but sometimes you want to watch a dumb comedy.

Bastards

Starring: Owen Wilson, Ed Helms, Glenn Close, J.K. Simmons, Ving Rhames, Terry Bradshaw

Directed by: Lawrence Sher
Written by: Justin Malen

Rating: R
Release Date: January 27, 2017

It’s Mama Mia! plot but with twin brothers and less singing.


The LEGO Batman Movie

Starring: Will Arnett, Michael Cera, Rosario Dawson, Zach Galifianakis, Mariah Carey, Ralph Fiennes, Jenny Slate, Billy Dee Williams

Directed by: Chris McKay
Written by: Seth Grahame-Smith, Chris McKenna, Erik Sommers

Rating: PG
Length: 1 hour 30 min.
Release Date: February 10, 2017

LEGO movie focuses on Batman who is raising Robin, the kid he adopted.


Fist Fight

Starring: Ice Cube, Charlie Day, Tracy Morgan, Jillian Bell

Directed by: Richie Keen
Written by: Van Robichaux, Evan Susser, Max Greenfield

Rating: R
Release Date: February 17, 2017

Ice Cube, once again, acts like an angry man who this time wants to fight Charlie Day for getting him fired.


Spooky Locations

These horror movies have something off in the building they are set in, like a haunted house, but one is an asylum and the other is a “wellness retreat”. Eloise seems to have a really stupid premise but could still lead to some good scares. A Cure for Wellness looks super spooky.

Eloise

Starring: Eliza Dushku, Robert Patrick, Chace Crawford

Directed by: Robert Legato
Written by: Christopher Borrelli

Rating: R
Length: 1 hour 29 min.
Release Date: February 3, 2017

Friends break into an abandoned insane asylum to find some paperwork and end up getting trapped.


A Cure for Wellness

Starring: Dane DeHaan, Jason Isaacs, Mia Goth

Directed by: Gore Verbinski
Written by: Justin Haythe, Gore Verbinski

Rating: R
Length: 2 hour 26 min.
Release Date: February 17, 2017

A business guy goes to pick up his CEO from a wellness center but things are not what they seem!

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