Thumbsucker
Directed: Mike Mills
Starring: Lou Taylor Pucci, Tilda Swington, Vincent D’Onofrio, Kelli Garner, Keanu Reeves
A teenager still sucks his thumb. His parents want him to stop, but he doesn’t care. Keanu Reeves is his hippie dentist that tries to hypnotize him to stop sucking his thumb. The kid is on the debate team because he likes a girl on the team. He stutters a lot and is self conscious. The school thinks he should be on Ritalin. He agrees and then everything turns around. He becomes super successful at school and wins everything at debate. His father starts to pay attention to him, and I started to wonder if the movie was a big pro-Ritalin movie.
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Tags: Keanu Reeves, Kelli Garner, Lou Taylor Pucci, mike mills, thumbsucker, Tilda Swington, Vincent D'Onofrio
Hard Candy
Directed: David Slade
Starring: Ellen Page, Patrick Wilson
A mature teenage girl decides to go after a suspected pedophile that she met in an Internet chat room.
I heard about a shocking scene that was in this movie, but maybe it is only shocking to guys. Leading up to that scene, there is nothing suspenseful about this supposed thriller. The director loves to shove the camera right up in the actors’ faces, which makes the entire movie claustrophobic. What it mostly made me do is really dislike the lead character when I would normally be on the side of anyone going after pedophiles. It didn’t make me like the guy any more, but I didn’t like her. She just bugged me. I disliked the lead character so much in this movie, that it made me not want to see Juno, which stars Ellen Page and I have really wanted to see that since I first saw the trailer. Now that’s a bad thing!
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Tags: david slade, ellen page, hardy candy, patrick wilson
Night Watch
Directed: Timur Bekmambetov
Starring: Vladimir Menshov, Konstantin Khabensky
Others are beings with supernatural powers and there has been a truce between the light and dark side until now.
I read the book just before watching the movie. It is the first book in a trilogy. The book follows Anton as a worker in Night Watch, which is actually the good guys watching all the dark ones to make sure they obey the rules. The Day Watch makes sure that the light ones obey the rules too. They have to keep a balance between the two of them or the world will go all crazy. A dark magician has put a hex on a woman, and Anton is sent in to help remove it. He ends up falling in love with her since he’s an inexperienced agent since he was just recently promoted to the field from being an analyst. He feels more comfortable crunching numbers and makes tons of mistakes while fumbling through things.
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Tags: night watch
Lord of War
Directed: Andrew Niccol
Starring: Nicolas Cage, Ethan Hawke
An arms dealer who doesn’t tell his significant other what he really does for a living, while also trying to avoid ATF. Based on true events.
I never thought about switching the order of words can make them seem like they mean something else. The term warlord is tossed around so much that I think it has lost some of its meaning. At one point in the movie, an African dictator speaks broken English and tells Nicholas Cage’s character that he is the “lord of war”. Cage tries to correct him, but the dictator has decided how he said it is correct. It really does fit his character though as a guy who makes money tells weapons to war torn countries.
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Tags: andrew niccol, ethan hawke, lord of war, nicolas cage
Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang
Directed: Shane Black
Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Val Kilmer
Robert Downey Jr. is a small-time thief who stumbles into an audition and gets cast as a detective. Val Kilmer is the gay detective who is showing him how to be believable in his new role.
Robert Downey Jr. narrates the movie which is an action picture, a satire movie, as well as a love story thrown in there. It all works though. He is an entertaining narrator. He jumps around a bit while telling a story, but you don’t get lost. While narrating, there are a lot of in-jokes about the movie industry and action films in general. It is amusing without getting too cute.
I remember when Robert Downey Jr. was Mr. Hot Stuff and so charming. He does a great job playing a complete loser. You believe that no one would pay attention to him, even the girl he wish he had in high school. Val Kilmer is awesome as a guy who really doesn’t care about anyone else. I have no clue why his character is gay besides to be used as an excuse for some jokes and the scene where he kisses Robert. There are some very funny lines between the two of these guys.
I recommend this movie. It was a trip to watch. It isn’t the best thing in the world or anything earth shattering, but a fun movie that is very funny too.
Rating: B
The Jacket
Directed: John Maybury
Starring: Adrian Brody, Keira Knightley
A man suffers from amnesia while accused of murdering a police officer. While locked in a mental institution, his mind takes him to the future where he finds out he is going to die if he doesn’t do something to stop it. WAT!
The movie makes more sense than the description. It is at least easier to understand, but still a very crazy movie. There is no real explanation about why he goes through time to the future, but it happens. The movie takes place in 1991 and 2007. When Adrian Brody is in the future, he finds out that he dies while in the mental institution and he tries to figure out how it happens. He doesn’t seem to want to stop it from happening, but just find out why.
Keira Knightley is also in the movie wearing tons and tons of eye makeup. Maybe she was preparing for her role in Domino. She is someone that Adrian’s character meets in 1991 and then falls for in 2007. It seems the more he knows about her, the more he wants to spend his time saving her life instead of his own. It is a nice thought, and I guess romantic notion, but the rest of the movie it just bizarre.
The doctor that administers the weird ass treatment doesn’t say how he came up with it and why he doesn’t perform it with all the patients. Jennifer Jason Leigh plays another doctor who seems to randomly be there and have a random story line that doesn’t tie together with everything else. There is also not a lot of time spent with why Adrian lost his memory that led him to the mental institution for a crime he didn’t commit.
It seems there are a lot of plot devices put into place with no explanation just to get to that little romantic story in the middle. It wasn’t a horrible movie, but it was very odd.
Grade: C+
Melinda and Melinda
Directed: Woody Allen
Melinda walks into a dinner party unexpectedly in two different versions of the same story–one a comedy and one a tragedy.
Damn Match Point. I loved that movie and recently watched it again on cable. It did not seem like a Woody Allen movie at all, so I thought I might try another of his movies. Then I ran across this movie where it was the same person in two different situations. I like choose-your-own-adventure-type themes like Sliding Doors, so I thought this movie might be similar. It was not.
It starts out with a group of people at dinner having a philosophical discussion about seeing everything as a comedy or a tragedy. Right there I should have turned off the movie. I really hate when people get into pseudo-philosophical discussions. It reminds me of freshman year in college. Everyone is so full of hot air and they aren’t really saying anything. They are just talking to hear themselves talk. Boring!
Anyway, one guy at the table says that he is going to tell a basic story, and the other two guys can decide if it is a comedy or a tragedy. A lady interrupting a dinner party is the set up and then they go from there. Besides the main character being the same actress and named Melinda, nothing else is the same in the two stories. There are different supporting actors in each one and different backgrounds to the Melinda character. The two stories go back and forth.
The “tragedy” story isn’t really a tragedy. I think of old Greek tragedies when I hear the world. She had some bad luck and made some bad decisions. Everyone has that nowadays so what makes her so special? She is friends with Chloe Sevigny and Johnny Lee Miller. They all seem to be in their thirties, living in Manhattan and love various classical music. The conversations all the people had sounded nothing like anyone that I hang out with and I’m in that age range. I didn’t relate to these people at all.
The “comedy” story had Amanda Peet and Will Ferrell in it. Will Ferrell is channeling Woody Allen, and it is highly annoying. It is annoying when Woody Allen is in his movies, but it doesn’t change anything when he has a “Woody Allen” character in his movie instead of himself. Even if what Will Ferrell was saying was funny, I was highly annoyed by his shaky, jerky mannerisms and mumbling to himself. Ugg.
I got half way through the movie before I had to pause it. I went back to watch the rest of it later, but found that I didn’t care. I wasn’t enjoying it so I decided to just hit the delete button on the TiVo.
Grade: D-
Me and You and Everyone We Know
Directed: Miranda July
A performance artist falls hard for a depressed department store shoe-salesmen who is dealing with his recent divorce and separation from his two kids.
For those that have been initiated, this is the Poop Back and Forth Forever movie. When I ran across that clip, I shared it with Amy and Marci while asking them, “Do you want to see something funny, but really messed up?” Amy wavered and Marci said “Yes!” It is hilarious, and sets the tone for the movie. It is what you would call a quirky indie film.
The main plot line is about the performance artist, played by the writer/director Miranda July. She’s an odd one. She works as a driver for elderly people while trying to get her art shown in a gallery. She is attracted to a shoe salesman guy, but he’s trying to figure out if he has another shot with his wife who just kicked him out. he’s also realizing it is harder being a single dad since he didn’t pay much attention to his two boys to begin with. They are the kids in the clip. They are the best part of the movie.
I actually enjoyed the subplots more than the main plot. There is another one with some teen girls dangerously flirting with an older guy. it’s very twisted and just so very wrong, yet funny. The two boys have more scenes in the movie, but the younger kid has the best scenes and when you find out who the person is on the other side of the chat, it is not who you expect. So funny.
If it wasn’t for the two brothers in the movie subplots, I’m not sure I would have been a big fan of the movie. It dragged during the main plot points and I had to stop myself from turning it off since it just wasn’t grabbing my attention. If you are a fan of the clip up above, I recommend seeing it so you can see all the scenes that relate to it. ))<>((
Grade: B-
Just Friends
Ryan Reynolds was a fat kid in high school stuck in the friend zone with Amy Smart. Ten years later, he comes back home, a skinnier successful music executive and tries to be more than friends.
Jer was watching this on cable when I came home from work. I think I missed the first 15-20 minutes or so, but I did get to see the major humiliation scene while he was a fat high school kid. Then I had to go take a shower so I missed another 15-20 minutes, but with this movie, if you miss any part of it, you will not miss any plot points. It is very predictable. You know he will win the girl over in the end, after he is no longer fat, as long as he keeps his sweet attitude he had when he was fat.
What you watch is all the bumbling that happens on the way to that moment. I didn’t have any intention of ever watching this movie, so I had the lowest expectations possible for it. I actually laughed a lot more than I thought I would. Most of the laughing was because of Anna Faris, who plays the pop music star who wants to be taken seriously as an artist. Chris (former fat guy) dated her once (during the part that I missed), and has concluded that she is psycho, but his record company wants him to nurture her so they can turn her into a big star. He can’t say no to her craziness, even when it gets them stranded in his hometown of New Jersey. She thinks they are dating. He wants to get away from her, so he pawns her off on his 18-year-old brother who loves crazy lady. Then Chris goes off in search of Jamie (high school best friend crush).
I couldn’t tell you the funny parts of the movie because I don’t remember them and I watched it three days ago. It is that forgettable, but was still entertaining while watching it. I just remember thinking that Ana Faris’s character could have been very annoying, but I found her hilarious in her psycho-ness.
If you are in the mood for some mindless comedy that just came on while switching channels, I would recommend it. You just have to have the lowest expectations about the movie as possible to enjoy it.
Grade: B-
Firecracker
Jimmy comes from an abusive family so he joins the circus when it comes to town. Mike Patton stars.
What an annoying, David Lynch-ripoff movie. This movie wasn’t reminiscent of David Lynch, but trying to rip off his direction and even his odd-ass characters. This movie didn’t have a log lady (Twin Peaks), but it did have some lady who hangs out in the middle of nowhere, but when she comes into town to talk, she’s just like the log lady. I think I had a look of disgust on my face most of this movie since I love David Lynch.
Mike Patton’s character was written for Dennis Hopper. When he backed out of the movie, the director went after Mike Patton. Mike wanted to just do the music for the movie, but he was convinced to act in it. He really should have stuck to his guns and did the music. He’s not a good actor. It was painful to watch. He was doing an impression of Dennis Hopper the entire time. He plays two different characters. He is David, oldest brother of some repressed, messed up family. He is also Frank, the circus ring leader. The main act of the circus is a singer played by Karen Black. She is also the mother of David and Jimmy. She is also lusted after by David, Frank and Jimmy. Shes a million years old. Who would lust after her? That didn’t help the disgusted look on my face.
The scenes at home in town are in black and white. The scenes at the circus are in full color. The color is very vivid and one scene at the very end is very pretty to watch, but that’s the only thing good about this movie.
I haven’t even touched on the horrible story itself about the abuse inside the house and inside the circus, but it is mostly horrible due to all the reasons already stated. Uggg.
Grade: F
