The River looks super scary and for critics that have previewed the first few episodes, it continues to get scarier. It is from the producers of Paranormal Activity about a wildlife documentarian who disappears while filming on the Amazon. His family goes searching for him and finds his footage. They are also filming their entire adventure so there is a lot of scary camera work and also the cameras being set up to capture things they don’t see when they are awake. I shouldn’t fall for these kind of scares, but I do so I want to watch it. I would not recommend it for Amy though.

The River

The River
Channel: ABC
Time: 9/8c
Starring: Leslie Hope, Joe Anderson, Paul Blackthorne, Bruce Greenwood, Shaun Parkes, Daniel Zacapa, Thomas Kretschmann, Eloise Mumford
Premieres: Tuesday,February 7

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Willing to Try

I would think something like Smash, based on a theater company trying to cast and put on a play about Marilyn Monroe would catch my eye, but something about it makes me want to watch all the high drama. I’m also impressed that Angelica Huston is in it.

Smash

Smash
Channel: NBC
Time: 10/9c
Starring: Debra Messing, Christian Borle, Katharine McPhee, Jack Davenport, Megan Hilty, Anjelica Huston, Jaime Cepero, Raza Jaffrey, Brian d’Arcy James
Premieres: Monday,February 6

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Not Interested

Tonight, after the Superbowl, The Voice will get the prime spot. It actually was one of the few hit shows that NBC had last season so it is no surprise they brought it back last year. This time, it will be up against American Idol. That show has actually seen its ratings drop this season so far. Are people waiting for The Voice or are people finally tired of all these singing talent shows?

The Voice

The Voice
Channel: NBC
Time: 8/7c
Starring: Adam Levine, Christina Aguilera, Cee Lo Green, Black Shelton, Carson Daly, Christina Milian
Premieres: Sunday, February 5

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We Bought a Zoo is about a recent widower with two children who wants to start over so he finds a house out in the country that happens to be connected to a zoo. It then turns into a guy with no experience trying to run a zoo while still mourning his dead wife. It sounds ludicrous, so it has to be based on a true story or no one would believe it. Amy and I went to see it for our Snazzle Review. Then we got together to discuss what we thought about it. Warning, we do discuss some plot points so if you don’t want things spoiled, you might want to skip it.

Coni: Are you ready to discuss the movie?

Amy: Answer 1 – No, there was not enough screen time for the otters.

Coni: I did think about you when I saw the otters!

Amy:  Answer 2 – Yes, those were Asian small clawed otters.

Coni: The little girl did start asking about the otters so they should have been around more. I am guessing you watched the trailer before you saw the movie, right?  I knew about the movie but didn’t watch the trailer until right before I saw it.

Amy: I believe I had seen a commercial on TV so like a 30 second trailer.

Coni:  I almost didn’t want to watch the movie after seeing the trailer. With the sappy voice over and music trying to pull at the heart strings, it made me roll my eyes. I was quite happy that the movie itself was not so cheesy.  I was confused how the director of Say Anything would be so damn cheesy. He usually has a good grasp of reality with relationships in movies.

Amy:  Yes, while it was a feel good story, it was not super sappy and cheesy.

Coni: I did enjoy some of his music picks as background music and I imagine he had a say in the music choices. Did you know he used to write for Rolling Stone?

Amy:  I did not. I didn’t even know it was the same director as Say Anything.

Coni: I remembered he wrote for Rolling Stone when I heard the music. Also, I recognized about half way through the movie that the guy with the monkey on his shoulder was the main character in Almost Famous, also directed by Cameron Crowe.

Amy: I did like the music and I think I read something about it in Entertainment Weekly, like it was by a Scandinavian guy names Jonsi! But fact check that.

Coni: I’m sure you hated the monkey guy.

Amy:  I did. I was glad they didn’t focus too much on that monkey.

Coni: Besides the monkey, that guy played the kid reporter in Almost Famous which is based on Cameron Crowe’s own life of joining Rolling Stone when he was a teenager.

Amy: Mom kept saying stuff like, “Next is the monkey time!”

Coni: Oh yes, you went with your mom. What did she think?

Amy: She thought it was good. She felt that Matt Damon would have looked better in less feminine eyeglasses.

Coni: I don’t think I noticed his eyeglasses. I did like the conversation between Benjamin and Kelly about the hat.

Amy: That was pretty funny. When she asked how he decided to wear it, I was thinking the same thing!

Coni: I liked cute little scenes like that.

Amy:  Me too. I felt there were a lot of good scenes like that.

Coni:  I also enjoyed that he didn’t just fall all over Scarlett’s character but really loved his wife and mourned her throughout the movie.

Amy: Yes, I felt that he really kept the relationship alive in the movie, even though you really only get a glimpse of her. I also liked it when McCready said, “I’m full of Scotch and bitterness!”

Coni: That was hilarious. Even though I don’t know why the lion didn’t eat McCready, I still really liked the scene and the Scotch line.

Amy: The lion preferred vodka filled nomz?

Coni: I also liked it when I really thought that this outsider guy was going to get the sick tiger to get off the rock and get better, but they kept it grounded and made him finally let him go. Which was sad, but not too sad.

Amy:  True, they handled that very well, even though I was so sad for Spar that he didn’t get to see his fans on opening day.

Coni: One thing I thought was missing is we didn’t get to see the bear’s new enclosure when they were done! They kept saying they were building it and showed them making it, but no finished product. It was like they forgot! Did someone edit that scene out?

Amy:  Maybe! Or maybe the bear ate someone, so then no one wanted to film his happy expansion dance.

Coni: I am now picturing the bear’s happy expansion dance after eating someone.

Amy: He was very dramatic when he slapped the gun out of Benjamin’s hand!

Coni: He was! That was another good scene that I totally expected the bear to just hug him which a cheesy movie would have done.

Amy: Oh mom was also curious about how close to the real life story this was and if the movie coming out made more people go to the zoo that the story is based on.

Coni: I wondered that too! Let’s Google. Also, I can’t believe the guy’s name was Mee. I kept thinking I was hearing it wrong.

Amy: In my head, it was Weeeeeeeeeeee!

Coni: Okay, what I have found online is that he was lucky to get Matt Damon to play him.

Amy: Also, I want to know who the mean bookkeeper played by Daisy from Bones was based on because I sensed a bit of payback in how she was portrayed in the movie!

Coni: Yes! I wondered that too since she was just in the background of the movie, then there was that one random meeting where she fired everyone up before leaving. I really thought she was super perky and annoying delivering the bills to him. I didn’t think she was getting upset about the lack of money until that meeting.

Amy: That’s why I felt there was a lot to that story or maybe she was a combo of haters/doubters?

Coni: Maybe! They did say a lot of people left, so maybe they rolled up some of them into her character.

Amy: Also, I kept seeing someone who kinda of looked like her at the end so was she really fired and gone or forgiven?

Coni:  Yes, I saw the one random girl. I thought it was her with a new haircut, but she was just a random girl.

Amy: Well the real life zoo is in England, so it is hard to say if I shall ever visit it.

Coni: Let’s go and say, “We are here for the zoo!”

Amy: And then have tea! OMG, do they have tea at the zoo?!?

Coni: It’s England. I think it is the law to have tea everywhere.

Amy: I agree that is the law!

Coni: I thought they did a good job casting the kids in the movie since I didn’t find them annoying at all.

Amy: Agree. The kids were great.

Coni: Also, I think it is unfair that Scarlett can look so good with no makeup on.

Amy: Agree. At least she doesn’t send us texts with pictures showing how pretty she is every day. I appreciate her restraint.

Coni: In the real life story, he moved from France to England with his kids, wife and mother. His wife had brain cancer already and died soon after they moved there. They also had an escape-prone jaguar. They should have had that animal in the movie. Scarlett’s character was based on three people all rolled into one character but the real Mr. Mee never had a relationship with any of them. Sounds like the zoo is still struggling so he hopes the movie will entice more people to show up. There is nothing about the accountant lady.

Amy: I hope people show up to the zoo. I want it to be awesome! This zoo has a good layout. Cheetahs next to otters so I’ll just stay there.

Coni: Back to the movie! I even enjoyed the teenagers being clueless and dorky with each other. I found it cute.

Amy: The girl was a little weird to me at first, but then I realized she was home schooled and grew up in a weird environment. It was nice to see her be a nice person and have real feelings instead of being all crazy fake mall teen.

Coni: I thought the same, so I think it helped when Kelly explained later that she was really naïve and innocent. She probably wasn’t self-conscious around boys since she didn’t see others doing that. I also thought Matt Damon did a good job. He was really believable as a fun guy who screwed up while missing his wife and ignoring his son when he shouldn’t because he doesn’t know how to talk to him. He did know how to talk to his daughter just fine.

Amy: Yes, I thought he did a great job of not making it all easy. I liked the 20 seconds of courage idea that it was his brother who had taught him that. I loved the brother character.

Coni:  Yes, that was some good advice. At first, I thought the brother character was unnecessary but I liked him halfway through the movie. After he came back with him at the zoo with the extra money, I liked him better.

Amy: Yeah, that made me a little anxious. I was like OMG, what if the girl hadn’t taken the sweatshirt out of the donation box and what if he had never felt the paper?! I had to chill out for a second, but important papers don’t go in sweatshirt pouches!

Coni: I did find that an odd place to put it. While you fretted about that, I was trying to figure out the logistics of how all the cars would get out of the zoo when they were all lined up facing one direction.

Amy: I thought about that as well. They would have to move the tree while people were at the zoo and then people could drive forward and turn around in the parking area.

Coni: Everyone would have to leave at the same time.

Amy: Yes, that seems possible. Everyone stays until closing!

Coni: No one leaves until we close!

Amy: And have tea!

Coni:  Overall, I thought it was a good movie that could have been over the top sappy, but was grounded in enough reality that it was just a nice, feel-good movie. So anything else about the movie?

Amy: I think we covered everything. I hope the real zoo can keep going.

Coni: I also hope the real zoo keeps going.

What I love about this show is how everyone talks like they are in a Coen Brothers movie, like Raising Arizona or No Country for Old Men. Characters use big, fancy words while talking about coal mining and shooting their husbands/wives. It’s hilarious. As an added bonus, Timothy Olyphant is damn sexy. In the third season, Raylan is dealing with his ex-wife being pregnant with his child while dealing with Boyd Crowder going back to his bad ways. There are two new baddies this season and they both came from Boomtown: Neal McDonough and Mykelti Williamson.

Justified

Justified
Channel: FX
Time: 10/9c
Starring: Timothy Olyphant, Walton Goggins, Nick Searcy, Joelle Carter, Natalie Zea, Erica Tazel, Jacob Pitts
Premieres: Tuesday, January 17

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Recommended

Lucy Liu joins the cast of Southland as a new partner for John Cooper who has returned after being in rehab for his pain-killer addiction. His back seems to be better too. Over on the animated spy show, Burt Reynolds will be joining the cast of Archer as a character named Burt Reynolds. Quite a stretch!

Southland

Southland
Channel: TNT
Time: 10/9c
Starring: Ben McKenzie, Michael Cudlitz, Regina King, Shawn Hatosy, Lucy Liu
Premieres: Tuesday, January 17

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Archer

Archer
Channel: FX
Time: 10/9c
Starring: H. Jon Benjamin, Aisha Tyler, Jessica Walter, Chris Parnell, Judy Greer, Amber Nash, George Coe, Adam Reed, Lucky Yates, Burt Reynolds
Premieres: Thursday, January 19

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Willing To Try

Two new shows that I’m willing to check out are both supernatural in nature. A bunch of prisoners disappeared from Alcatraz thirty years ago, and they seem to be popping up now committing crimes, but they haven’t aged. Is this The 4400? On the SYFY channel, they imported a Canadian show about a woman who just discovered she is a succubus, which isn’t ideal since her kiss can kill people. Oops!

Alcatraz

Alcatraz
Channel: FOX
Time: 8/7c
Starring: Sarah Jones, Jorge Garcia, Sam Neill, Parminder Nagra, Robert Forster, Santiago Cabrera, Jonny Coyne, Jason Butler Harner
Premieres: Monday, January 16

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Lost Girl

Lost Girl
Channel: SYFY
Time: 10/9c
Starring: Anna Silk, Kris Holden-Ried, Ksenia Solo, Zoie Palmer, Rick Howland, K.C. Collins
Premieres: Monday, January 16

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Not Interested

I’m surprised Undercover Boss is still on the air since I thought everyone would tire of it by now. Is it really doing anything at these companies? I doubt it. On FX, Unsupervised is an animated comedy about two unsupervised teens. It comes from the writers and producers of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, but it just doesn’t seem funny.

Undercover Boss

Undercover Boss
Channel: CBS
Time: 8/7c
Premieres: Sunday, January 15

Unsupervised

Unsupervised
Channel: FX
Time: 10:30/9:30c
Starring: Justin Long, David Hornsby, Kristen Bell, Romany Malco, Rob Rosell, Scott Marder, Fred Armisen, Alexa Vega,  Kaitlin Olson, Sally Kellerman
Premieres: Thursday, January 19

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Why?

These are show that I’m not sure why they are still on the air or why they are even making it to air. I liked the Napoleon Dynamite movie. It was a bit of weirdness that really didn’t need to continue in any form, be it a sequel or an animated series. The CW is trying to find a matching series to go along with America’s Next Top Model, but even that show is slowly dying so I’m not sure why they just don’t fill up the space with another supernatural teen show that seems to work so well for them.

I’ve been confused why there is a U.S. remake of a British television series while it is still airing in the U.K. I can almost see it if it had been off the air, but the third season just ended not too long ago and the U.S. version seems to be following the same plot lines. Why?

I’ll never understand the fascination with American Idol. These people just sing someone else’s songs. It is a glorified talent show. I like singers that write their own music. Finally with Shark Tank, people with money decide if they will give someone else some money for their idea. I’m not sure how this has sustained anyone’s interest for more than one season.

Napoleon Dynamite

Napoleon Dynamite
Channel: FOX
Time: 8:30/7:30c
Starring: Jon Heder, Aaron Ruell, Efren Ramirez, Tina Majorino, Sandy Martin, Jon Gries, Diedrich Bader
Premieres: Sunday, January 15

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Remodeled

Remodeled
Channel: The CW
Time: 9/8c
Starring: Paul Fisher
Premieres: Tuesday, January 17

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Being Human

Being Human
Channel: SYFY
Time: 9/8c
Starring: Sam Witwer, Sam Huntington, Meaghan Rath, Mark Pellegrino
Premieres: Monday, January 16

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American Idol

American Idol
Channel: FOX
Time: 8/7c
Starring: Jennifer Lopez, Steven Tyler, Randy Jackson, Ryan Seacrest
Premieres: Wednesday, January 19

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Shark Tank

Shark Tank
Channel: ABC
Time: 8/7c
Starring: Barbara Corcoran, Daymond John, Kevin O’Leary, Mark Cuban, Robert Herjavec
Premieres: Friday, January 20

A New Year’s Resolution that I created with the help of Amy is to watch more movies! I have really been slacking on watching movies the past couple of years, so we are going to change that. Not only will we watch movies, we are going to get together and review them afterwards as a team. We are calling this venture, Snazzle Reviews! Our first movie was one that came out at the end of last year (Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol), but neither of us had seen it yet. Let’s begin! We do talk about random plot points so you might want to skip it if you want to avoid any spoilers.

Coni: Did you watch the first three Mission Impossible movies before this one?

Amy: I was just thinking about that and I think I missed at least one. I know I saw the first one, but not sure about the second or third one. I remember Ving Rhames.

Coni: I know he was in the first two. Do you remember Simon Pegg from the third movie?

Amy: I do not think so. I remember him from the funny zombie movie! I loved it in this movie when he said, “…and I catch you!”

Coni: Yes, that was good. I believe you missed the third movie so some of the back story of this movie might not have made sense to you with them mentioning him disappearing and stuff with his wife. You know you watched the first one. The second one came out that involved a lot of people wearing masks of other people’s faces and voice changers a lot. It became overkill in that movie. It also had a lot of car chases in it and the same basic plot line of Ronin that had come out two years earlier. It was not my favorite Mission Impossible movie, but it did have my favorite bad line in it, “This is not Mission: Difficult.” It’s so stupid! I say it all the time.

Amy: I think I remember that one.

Coni: The third one introduced Simon Pegg, who was a guy in the lab that talked to Ethan Hunt through ear pieces mostly while he was out in the field. He almost acted like Q in a way giving him neat gadgets. He was pretty funny in that one. He was used the same way in this one, but he was out in the field doing it. The third one also showed Ethan Hunt all happy and married, so of course, his wife gets kidnapped and tortured so he had to save her. That’s what some people were referring to in this movie. I highly recommend the third one since it was directed by JJ Abrams and featured about 3-5 minutes of Tom Cruise running, which is why I make the running jokes now.

Amy: I shall try to watch it!

Coni: I was actually looking forward to more running in this one since it was ridiculous in the last one. How do you feel the running turned out in this movie?

Amy: I felt there was a lot of running, but most of it was understandable. I didn’t feel there was gratuitous running. Also, Tom Cruise has a very good determined running expression, so that worked well too.

Coni: Towards the end when they said that Cobalt was six miles away, I actually thought Tom Cruise was going to say, “Don’t worry guys, I have this,” while he took off running. Instead, he drove. What did you think about the threat of nuclear war being the big threat in the movie? Was it a scary enough threat? Was Cobalt a decent bad guy or was he cheesy?

Amy: I was like, is it 1985? Then I wondered, what did happen to all those bombs? I thought it was scary and the bad guy was good. He was crazy!

Coni: I giggled when they said “global nuclear war.” I wanted them to throw “thermal” in there too. Would you like to play a game?

Amy: I was wanting Sean Connery to be on the sub! At first, I was thinking, is this a flash forward because the guy from Lost was there!

Coni: Oh yes, the Lost guy! When I first saw him, I didn’t recognize him and thought it was someone who just looked like Josh Holloway. I was thinking they could have probably gotten Josh Holloway to play that character and then realized, it was him!

Amy: Me too! I wasn’t sure it was him until he talked.

Coni: Did you find it sad that they blew up the Kremlin? It was shiny and pretty.

Amy: A little. I would have been more sad if it had been the pretty onion dome church. I felt sad because it looked like a fancy building, but also, it’s a building that was used to plot against the USA so sad and yet, not all sad.

Coni: What did you think about the disguises that were used, or the lack thereof, in this movie?

Amy: The masks scared me when they peeled them off so I wasn’t sad that there was only one. I did think that part was a little weird with Cobalt pretending to be his henchman and then the real henchman is there later. I was thinking, “Why did it have to be him? Why couldn’t the real henchman get the papers and then follow him to Cobalt?” I would think the plot would have ended up the same.

Coni: I found that weird too. Why couldn’t he just send the henchman? Why did he bother to pull his mask off to show who he was to Ethan?

Amy: Yeah, it wasn’t like the team was going to be more motivated just because it was Cobalt.

Coni: There are rumors that Jeremy Renner was being set up as someone who could take over for Tom Cruise when he’s done making these movies. Do you think analyst guy would make a good replacement?

Amy: I need to see Jeremy be more sexy. I thought he had good action moves, so I would probably watch him in another Mission Impossible. I would like a different girl though.

Coni: I did find her a bit boring. I did enjoy the girl fighting scene. I figured she had to fight her since they didn’t want the guys to beat up the girl.

Amy: Also, I first thought that Jeremy was going to be a double agent so I was like…zomg!

Coni: Yes, that was a bit fishy at the beginning. Back to the girls fighting, I did like the…ooops! There goes the assassin out the window!

Amy: Lots of people fall in this movie. Also, when the dust storm was there, how did the room not get ruined? Or did we not see it after the storm hit?

Coni: Ethan was chasing Cobalt when the sand storm hit so we didn’t see the room. I was waiting for that storm to hit it. How did you like the crazy climbing up the tallest building in the world and then running around in a sand storm?

Amy: I felt a little woozy when he was climbing and I totally knew a glove would break. Anything that makes the wind up sound breaks. That’s a techmonster fact!

Coni: I was actually getting a bit bored with the climbing when it started to break so that was good timing. Then when he almost fell after cutting the window to get back in, I almost punched myself in the face from throwing my arm up. Was I going to catch him? No idea.

Amy: I jumped too! I also think I yelled a couple of times. I don’t think I was too loud, but I know I yelped a couple of times.

Coni: Overall, how did you like the movie?

Amy: I enjoyed it! I think they should have shown the diamonds more because they were pretty. It was very action packed. I also liked the cars.

Coni: I thought it was a good combination of suspense, action and comedy. The cars were pretty. Oh the crazy car parking garage scene! I did like how they showed that people were actually hurt after all the crazy fighting, since usually people fall a few stories on to their back and then just run away!

Amy: I didn’t like how hurt people got, but I know that’s realistic. By the time Tom Cruise was laying on the floor of the garage, I was thinking, I need a Vicodin! The cars were nice though. I also liked the party in India. I wish I was at that party!

Coni: I liked the tray of cell phones. Nice job that guy has — I’m the cell phone tray holder.

Amy: I was thinking, no way for me. I can barely work my one phone. How would I learn to work them all?

Coni: I did also like the ancient looking pay phone in Russia that had fancy equipment hiding inside. So sneaky! And the crazy retina recognition that needed to happen before they could get into the moving train car.

Amy: That was funny with the train. I wanted to see them all in the bunk beds though! I also liked how Ethan blew a kiss to Simon when he opened the prison door. And for some reason at the end, I thought it would show Ethan in a wheelchair from his leg or something. I think I was feeling a John Locke from Lost vibe.

Coni: He gets beat up, but he keeps going!

Amy: He does!

House of Lies is about a management consultant firm where the consultants have questionable morals in order to make the most money off their clients. I’m most looking forward to this show, even though critics seemed split on it. Some really like the black comedy and the outstanding cast of Don Cheadle and Kristen Bell. Others find it soulless. I really want to like it since I would love to find something worthy of Kristen Bell’s talent after Veronica Mars.

House of Lies

House of Lies
Channel: SHO
Time: 10/9c
Starring: Don Cheadle, Bristen Bell, Ben Schwartz, Josh Lawson, Dawn Olivieri
Premieres: Sunday, January 8

Click here to view the embedded video.

Recommended

Critics and everyone that has ever seen Downton Abbey loves it to death. I haven’t ever seen it, but I am ready to start watching the first season. It focuses on a rich family in England and their servants leading up to WWI in 1916. The second season starts with the war just beginning. The second season of Shameless begins where the Gallaghers continue to try to survive with their drunken father not doing much to help lead the family. 30 Rock is still hit or miss, but I’ll continue watching it while it is on the air since the funny episodes are really funny.

Downton Abbey

Downton Abbey
Channel: PBS
Time: 9/8C
Starring: Maggie Smith, Hugh Bonneville, Elizabeth McGovern, Michelle Dockery, Laura Carmichael, Jessica Brown-Findlay
Premieres: Sunday, January 8

Click here to view the embedded video.

Shameless

Shameless
Channel: SHO
Time: 9/8c
Starring: William H. Macy, Emmy Rossum, Justin Chatwin, Jeremy Allen White, Cameron Monaghan, Emma Kenney, Ethan Cutkosky
Premieres: Sunday, January 8

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30 Rock

30 Rock
Channel: NBC
Time: 8/7c
Starring: Tina Fey, Alec Baldwin, Jane Krakowski, Tracy Morgan, Jack McBrayer, Judah Friedlander, Keith Powell, Scott Adsit
Premieres: Thursday, January 12th

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Willing to Try

The Finder is billed as a spin-off from Bones, but it was just set up as a backdoor pilot in one random Bones episode last year where Booth knows the detective that works in Florida and has a knack for finding things. He’s an odd duck, which makes him charming. The Fades is another supernatural show from England and I’m a sucker for those shows. This one is about a teenage dork who finds out he can see the spirits that are trapped between the living in the dead and really want to get back on the living side. Awkward!

The Finder

The Finder
Channel: FOX
Time: 9/8c
Starring: Geoff Stults, Michael Clarke Duncan, Maddie Hasson, Mercedes Masohn
Premieres: Thursday, January 12

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The Fades

The Fades
Channel: BBC America
Time: 9/8c
Starring: Iain De Caestecker, Daniel Kaluuya, Lily Loveless, Natalie Dormer, Joe Dempsie, Tom Ellis, Sophie Wu, Johnny Harris
Premieres: Saturday, January 14

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Not Sure Why I Still Watch

The show was pretty decent for the first season but has been going down hill ever since. Why do I still watch it? For some reason, I think I’ll stick with it until the end. The fifth season finds Hank after he has spent three years in New York, but comes back out to California for a meeting and decides to move back.

Californication

Californication
Channel: SHO
Time: 10:30/9:30c
Starring: David Duchovny, Natascha McElhone, Madeleine Martin, Evan Handler, Pamela Adlon, Madeline Zima
Premieres: Sunday, January 8

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Why?

I never watched the Tom Cruise movie that The Firm is based on, but what I hear is that he ended up in witness protection at the end of the movie. In the show, he is using his original name again, which doesn’t make any sense. Beyond being nonsensical, it is also apparently boring so I feel bad for the tv critics that didn’t have a choice but to watch it. Remember you do have a choice. In the vein of things that don’t make sense, NBC did name the Chelsea Handler show after her first book “Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea,” but then decided to shorten it to Are You There, Chelsea? which doesn’t make any sense. The show itself is not funny and I think I actually hate Laura Prepon as an actress. I want to smack the smirk off her face. Meanwhile, every year, I’m amazed that One Tree Hill is still on the air so I will once again be amazed it made it for nine seasons, but this one is the last. I’m sure it is about something that is interesting to someone but I’m going to continue to ignore it. Finally, I don’t think anyone finds Rob Schneider funny except for Adam Sandler, so I’m not sure why he has his own sitcom. I’m also confused about why making one about Mexican stereotypes is considered hilarious. Way to go CBS.

The Firm

The Firm
Channel: NBC
Time: 9/8c
Starring: Josh Lucas, Molly Parker, Natasha Calis, Callum Keith Rennie, Juliette Lewis, Tricia Helfer, Shaun Majumder
Premieres: Sunday, January 8

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Are You There, Chelsea?

Are You There, Chelsea?
Channel: NBC
Time: 8:30/7:30c
Starring: Laura Prepon, Lauren Lapkus, Jake McDorman, Mark Povinelli, Ali Wong, Chelsea Handler
Premieres: Wednesday, January 11

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One Tree Hill

One Tree Hill
Channel: The CW
Time: 8/7c
Starring: Antwon Tanner, Jackson Brundage, James Lafferty, Sophia Bush, Robet Buckley, Shantel VanSanten, Austin Nichols, Lisa Goldstein, Bethany Joy Galeotti, Paul Johansson, Lee Norris
Premieres: Wednesday, January 11

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Rob

Rob
Channel: CBS
Time: 8:30/7:30
Starring: Rob Schneider, Claudia Bassols, Cheech Marin, Diana Maria Riva, Eugenio Derbez, Lupe Ontiveros
Premieres: Thursday, January 12

Click here to view the embedded video.

Yes, there was some drama surrounding Sarah leaving a challenge mid-way through due to heat exhaustion (flashback to Jamie and her cut finger), but I’m getting more and more concerned over Chris J.’s stupid ponytail on top of his head. I think when there were more chefs, I didn’t fully notice it, but now that there are only nine, it is becoming more noticeable. I thought he put it on top of his head for health reasons while cooking, but he wanders around the time with that stupid ponytail. Why doesn’t he just cut his hair?

The episode started with Edward complaining about Heather winning twice using his cake recipe. He apparently never shared this information with anyone else until she was gone. Sarah thought Edward couldn’t be trusted since he never said he had an issue with it to Heather’s face and why didn’t he make the cake recipe himself. I do agree with Sarah that if Ed had issues with it, he could have brought it up while she was still there or just not bring it up at all. Also, even if Heather did use Ed’s recipe, she still had to make it. She could have screwed it up.

Quickfire Challenge

For the Quickfire Challenge, the chefs were given a copy of the Modernist Cuisine volumes, which is some highly coveted cooking thing filled with a variety of classic and modern techniques. They were told to study them for the challenge the next day. That next day, they learned that the author, Nathan Myhrvold, was the guest judge. He talked about how modernist cuisine started in the mid-1990s and it wasn’t just about molecular gastronomy. It was about making food creatively. He wanted the chefs to create a dish that illustrated modernist cuisine. Chris J. was beyond excited about making the kind of food that he likes to make and do it for his hero.

Least Favorites

Paul
Endive Salad, Egg Yolk, Parmesan & Truffle Powder

Nathan said that Paul had a dish with interesting textures, but not enough depth and flavor.

Beverly
Flash Steamed Clams & Mussels, Curry Whipped Cream & Mango Chili

Beverly had foam to add right when the judges got there. It wasn’t set up properly so Beverly got foam all over Padma and Nathan. She tried to clean up the foam, she started knocking over a bunch of other stuff at her station. Everyone just looked pathetically at socially awkward Beverly. After all of that, Nathan said that her dish needed to stand out. The foam and some other elements of the dish were going in that direction, but it was not far enough.

Grayson
Trout Sashimi, Dill Caviar, Pickled Watermelon, Cucumber & Radish

Nathan said that if someone is going to have a simple preparation, but then elements have to be outstanding. That isn’t what Grayson made.

Middle of the Road

Edward
Salmon Belly Sashimi, Compressed Watermelon & Brunoise Radishes

Lindsay
Marinated Baby Octopus, Tempura Sea Beans & Togarashi

Padma said it was refreshing.

Chris C.
Risotto Foam, Scallops, Raisins & Fried Capers

Nathan said it was terrific, but apparently not terrific enough to make it to the top of the list.

Favorite Dishes

Sarah
Breakfast Raviolo, Pancetta & Egg Yolk

Nathan said that she took something that a lot of Italian grandmothers could make, but if put in the right context, it works. I have no idea what that means. Is it a compliment? Sarah looked like she didn’t know either.

Chris J.
Miracle Berry, Deconstructed Cheesecake, Sparkling Water with Lemon & Lime

Chris started to explain that the Miracle Berry pill changes the palette so something sour tasted sweet and so forth. When Padma tasted the lemon, she thought it tasted like a tangerine. Paul thought there was no technique involved in what Chris made and found it gimmicky. I agree! Nathan said he grew Miracle Berry in his basement so he apparently doesn’t think it is gimmicky. He said that the dish was composed well from the lemon to cheesecake to the soda. He said it was one hell of a dish.

Ty-Lor
Watermelon, Vanilla Bean Honey, Black Pepper & Salted Oilive Oil Powder

Ty used some kind of powder that turned to olive oil in the mouth. Nathan said it was an interesting way to deliver the olive oil into the dish. He picked Ty as the overall winner. He showed both creativity and execution. He won immunity and a copy of the Modernist Cuisine books.

Elimination Challenge

For the elimination challenge, the teams had to split themselves up into three teams of three. Some chefs darted to get away from Beverly, but both Chris J. and Chris C. didn’t move fast enough so they were on a team with her. The chefs had to cook barbecue for 300 guests at the Salt Lick restaurant. Each plate had to have chicken, beef brisket and pork spare ribs along with two sides. The chefs headed out to the Salt Lick and were shown by the owner how he barbecues in a huge pit. He then fed them. Paul was intimidated because he was from Texas and he didn’t think he could ever make barbecue as good as he was eating. He said he typically didn’t barbecue.

After dinner, the owner took the chefs out to some outside pits with some RVs set up for them. They had all night to barbecue before the event the next day. Paul and Grayson were on the same team. They wanted to get their meat in the smoker immediately since it needed to cook for a long period of time at a low heat.  At some point, Chris J. noticed that their meat had fallen to the bottom of the smoker. Luckily, they had wrapped it in foil first so it was still safe. They rewrapped the meat and put it back in the smoker, but they were worried since they lost hours of cooking time.

Ty thought that the blue team (Paul, Grayson, Lindsay) was taking a huge risk by doing Asian-style BBQ, especially in Texas. The white team (Beverly, Chris C., Chris J.) seemed to be doing some kind of white trash BBQ with Chris J. making beer can chicken and Chris J. making Dr. Pepper bbq sauce. The red team (Sarah, Ed, Ty) were doing three different style of BBQ with Texas, Kansas City and Kentucky.

Meanwhile, Beverly was inside one of the RVs starting a fire since she was cooking with bourbon. Chris C. did not think it was a good idea when he found out what she was doing. Then she set off the fire alarm in the RV. She carried the pot outside and put it on the dry grass before going back inside to try to get the alarm to turn off. She didn’t put it out or anything. Someone else came and put a lid on the pot before she started a fire outside. Oh Beverly.

The next morning, Tom stopped by to check on what everyone was doing. The chefs were being a bit loopy from lack of sleep. Chris J. had been talking to his beer can chickens on the pit. Grayson told Tom that their food would be like sex in the mouth. Okey dokey Grayson! Tom also told them that the winning team would be taking home $15,000.

As the sun rose, it was really hot outside. Combine the sun with the heat from the barbecue pit and it became almost unbearable to be outside. Everyone was handling it except Sarah. She was having a hard time breathing and her blood pressure was rising. She had heat exhaustion. She asked for a medic who ended up taking her to the hospital. That left Ed and Ty to finish up the rest of the challenge on their own. Ed had planned to cut the brisket to order, but since Sarah wasn’t going to be there to help serve, he decided to pre-cut it. He figured it was ruining the meat but he thought it was the only option.

Blue Team – Paul, Grayson, Lindsay
Asian Spare Rib, Chicken & Brisket, Brussel Sprouts & Watermelon Salad

Gail said the chicken was delicious, sticky, sweet and spicy. Tom said the Brussels sprouts were not cooked enough. A random guest found the brisket phenomenal.

White Team – Beverly, Chris J., Chris C.
Beer Can Chicken, Brisket & Dr. Pepper Glazed Pork Ribs

Nathan said it was a good roast chicken, but he wouldn’t call it barbecue. Tom said it was moist with a lot of flavor. Gail said the beans were undercooked. Tom said the ribs were too salty. Gail and Nathan were fans of the brisket. They made a watermelon lemonade drink. Gail said it would be better with gin.

Red Team – Sarah, Ty-Lor, Ed
Texas Chicken, KC Style Pork Ribs, Smoked Brisket, Poppy Seed Cole Slaw & Pinto Beans

Sarah showed up while they were serving food. Ed was not thrilled to see her. She tried to help out, but Ed and Ty had a system that Ed thought she was messing with. Ty asked how she was doing while Ed just looked annoyed that she bothered to come back. She stayed through serving the judges. Then she said she was starting to get overheated again so she went to sit down. How convenient. Nathan said the chicken was well cooked and flavorful. Gail loved the flavor of the ribs but the texture was chewy. Nathan agreed that he really liked the KC Style flavor profile in the sauce, but the meat was chewy. Padma said they were the best tasting beans out of the three teams. Tom said that they cut the meat too soon. It should have been cut to order.

Judges’ Table

Winners

The Blue Team of Paul, Lindsay & Grayson were picked as the overall winners. They would be splitting $15,000 and that would make $35,000 that Paul has won so far. Their dish was seasoned well and everything was cooked nicely. They didn’t try to be traditional and it was the best brisket out of all the teams.

Losers

The remaining teams failed with cooking their proteins. With the red team, Sarah’s chicken was more like a grilled chicken. It did not have the smoky flavor that a barbecue chicken should have. Also, the skin was rubbery. Ed made some bad brisket. It wasn’t inedible, but it was cut too far in advance. He was worried about creating too long of a line by cutting it to order, but Tom didn’t buy that excuse. Ed also made the coleslaw with Ty, which was not good. It has a weird orange mint in it that gave it a strange flavor. That was Ty’s idea.  Ty made a great sauce for his meat, but the meat was not falling off the bone like it should have been. If he didn’t have immunity, he would most likely be the one sent home.

On the white team, Beverly made a traditional coleslaw, but there was nothing outstanding about it. She didn’t put any of herself into the dish. She did brine her chicken, but then let Chris J. cook all the meat. Tom said she couldn’t just sit back and not have her own point of view. She also made some undercooked beans. Chris J. did not do a great job grilling the meat, but the big mistake was the rub and sauces that Chris C. made for the entire team. They were so salty that they made all the proteins inedible. For that, he was sent packing. So long, Malibu Chris!

Last Chance Kitchen

Chris C. faced Nyesha in the Last Chance Kitchen. Their challenge was to cook with items bought at a gas station. They were given $20 to purchase what they wanted at the gas station.

Nyesha
Beer-Glazed Smoked Sausage with a Pork Rind Twill & Chili Cheese Sauce

Tom said it was a restaurant-style dish.

Chris C.
Togarashi Spiced Tomato Soup with Spicy Pork Rinds, Grilled Cheese with Fried Ham & Pickle

Tom said it was a perfectly made Cuban sandwich.

Tom really didn’t give a reason why but he did give Nyesha the win so she is the three-time champ and the one with the most wins in Last Chance Kitchen.

Questions

1. What do you think about Chris J.’s hair? Is it not that big of a deal? Do you think pony on top of the head is awesome?
2. Do you think using something like the Miracle Berry is gimmicky or do you still have to use some technique to make something taste good, even if it tastes different than what you expected?
3. Do you think Ed gave Sarah too hard of a time for going to the hospital for exhaustion? Do you think that Sarah should have stuck it out, taken a break and stayed with her team to help out instead of going off the hospital?

Some photos: Bravo TV

I remember  when the the Top Chef Twitter account was asking for fan suggestions for the quickfire challenge in this episode. I was wondering how it would play out in an episode and when it would air, but in case anyone thinks it didn’t actually happen, they did ask for suggestions on Twitter.

Beverly was still a bit upset about Heather over the last two episodes. She thought that some people might perceive her humbleness as a weakness. She did really believe in karma and thought it was a strong force in the world. Foreshadowing!

The chefs learned they were moving onto Austin. Paul said he had to represent his city well. On the road trip over, there was much joking around about Chris C.’s nickname of Malibu. Grayson said it was because he was beautiful and really concerned about his hair.

Quickfire Challenge

After the chefs were in Austin, they came into the kitchen to find Tom standing next to Padma, which made everyone nervous. Padma commented about technology being big in the city so they would be taking the next challenge from tweet suggestions to the Top Chef twitter account. The first tweet they liked said, “Everyone always says bacon makes it better. I want to see the chefs finally prove it.” They had 45 minutes to cook a dish with bacon in it. After the chefs started cooking, Tom asked for a twist on Twitter. Padma and him decided on “Do a hash for a #hashtag challenge.” They made the chefs add hash as one component of their bacon dish. The final twist they decided on was “chefs choose a pantry ingredient and hand it off to another chef that must use it in their dish.” Some chefs were handed lemon, maple syrup and Sriracha.

Least Favorites

Grayson
Shrimp Puff with Crispy Bacon Hash Cake

Tom was confused about why she called it a puff when it was really like a mousse. He can tell she tried to add bacon to the puff, but ended up with the random strip of bacon over the top. The dish wasn’t successful.

Chris J.
Corn Puree with Bacon, Potato Hash & Seared Scallop

The scallop was well cooked and he incorporated bacon into it nicely, but the dish was really, really salty.

Edward
Potato Hash with Bacon & Soft Shell Crab Deglazed in Sriracha

Edward burned the hash, so it was really bitter and it threw the whole dish off.

Middle of the Road

Heather
Smoked Paprika Quail with Bacon Jam & Leek Hash

Chris C.
Bacon-Wrapped Monkfish with Potato, Leek & Bacon Hash

Ty-Lor
Maple-Glazed Bacon with Bacon & Kale Hash

Most Favorite

Beverly
Crispy Pork Belly with Corn, Bell Pepper, Habanero & Potato Hash

Tom thought she did a really nice job. She had a subtle piece of pork belly that had a lot of flavor.

Sarah
Burrata Stuffed Squash Blossom with Bacon & Zucchini Hash

It was really subtle. It did not have ton of bacon in it, but enough to give some smokiness. The fritter was also nicely fried.

Paul
Bacon Fat, Crispy Bacon, Blackberries, Chorizo & Mushroom Hash

Tom said it was a really unusual dish. He said none of the components should work together, but they really did. Tom picked him as the overall winner. Paul did not get immunity, but he did win $10,000.

Elimination Challenge

The chefs were sent to a small club where Patti LaBelle came out and sang for them. After she sang, Padma joined her and told the chefs that Patti would be a guest judge. They would be creating dishes at a dinner party the next night. They had to create a dish to honor their inspiration for deciding to start cooking.

While making food, Beverly decided to use a pressure cooker since she used it in the quickfire on the pork belly and it worked really well. Heather discovered her meat was really spongy, but she didn’t want to use the pressure cooker since she used it in the last challenge and it make her duck legs stringy. She put her meat in the oven, hoping it would braise it enough. She knew her meat was not good. Chris ran into a problem searing his salmon too quickly. It had some fatty white substance that he tried to scrape off and he hoped no one would notice.

Emeril Lagasse joined Tom, Padma and Patti at dinner. They also were eating with Patti’s friends Nadine and John.

Chris J.
Lemon-Pepper Steak with Baked Potato & Vegetables

Chris’ inspiration was his grandmother, who raised him. He said growing up, he had steak and potatoes every Friday. Emeril really liked the idea, but he wouldn’t have used A-1 in the demiglace. Patti found the meat tender and the vegetables were excellent. Nadine thought the presentation was excellent.

Heather
Beef Stroganoff with Herb Spaetzle & Roasted Mushrooms

Heather said her mom was an amazing cook. She said she was the queen of one-pot meals. Emeril said he couldn’t tell what cut of meat she used. Patti said she thought she was eating Bigfoot. Emeril said it was like bad hotel food.

Paul
Quail Adobo & Ginger Rice with Green Mango Salsa

His grandma used to make adobo once or twice a week. It was the first thing she taught him how to cook. Tom said he liked the use of mango and herbs in the dish. Patti said she was not a quail girl. She never got to the rice since the quail knocked her out. I have no idea what that means.

Sarah
Pork Sausage Stuffed Cabbage & Spinach with Browned Butter

Sarah was concerned that her dish didn’t look fancy enough, especially compared to Paul who was presenting at the same time. Her inspiration was her grandparents. She said her grandma makes stuffed cabbage every year and her grandpa makes sausage to this day. Patti said the browned butter made it a little sweet but she liked it. Tom said she did a great job with clean flavors. He had expected the stuffed cabbage to be heavy, but it was really nice. He said whoever taught her how to make the dish deserved a hug and kiss since it was a nice bit of cooking.

Beverly
Korean Braised Short Rib with Edamame Scallion Puree & Hon Shimeji Mushrooms

Her mom was her inspiration. She grew up eating brased short ribs. John said the meat was so tender. Patti agreed it was really good. Tom said he was sure her mom did not present it like she did, but the essence was there. It had texture, flavor and color. What more could you ask for in a dish.

Chris C.
Sockeye Salmon with Confit Potato & Brown Sugar Carrot Puree

His uncle inspired him to use fresh fish. Patti loved the carrot puree, but found the fish was uninspiring. Tom said he was not a fan of carrot puree since it didn’t taste like carrot, but a bunch of other things. He was not a fan of the dish since too much was going on. He could also tell the salmon was cooked too quickly.

Lindsay
Trout Spanakopita with Crispy Leeks & Rainbow Trout Roe

Both of her grandmothers were her inspiration with one being Greek and one being Southern. Patti thought the roe was very much like caviar. Emeril loved the crispiness of the trout and he loved the roe, but it had too much butter.

Edward
Modern Bibimap with Lemon-Chili Sauce

His grandmother was his inspiration so he made a humble Korean dish as a tribute. Nadine said she was allergic to eggs, but loved his dish. She found it authentic. Emeril said the dish played right into the story of his grandma.

Grayson
Grilled Rib Eye Steak with German Potato Salad & Grilled Vegetables

Her parents were her inspiration as well as Wisconsin. She said she knew it was a big cut of meat but that’s how she learned to do it in Wisconsin. Tom said it was probably a dish she had every Saturday night growing up. Patti said it could feed a family of 20. Tom responded that it could be an appetizer in Wisconsin. Nadine said her cut was very stringy. John agreed saying it was gristly.

Ty-Lor
Duck Fat-Fried Chicken Tender with Pickled Peaches

His inspiration was his Japanese nanny who used to make panko crusted chicken tenders. Patti thought it was beautiful and Tom said his nanny would be proud of him.

Judges’ Table

Losers

The judges confused the chefs by calling in the losers first so the remaining chefs thought they were all winners. Grayson, Heather and Chris C. were called in and told their tributes fell flat.

Padma commented that the beef was sinewy and spongy. They also all talked about the meat cut being too big. Grayson said that the huge plate was how they eat in Wisconsin. Tom said she could have used how she used to eat as a starting point and then move the dish into a modern direction. Grayson said she took the challenge literally and she shouldn’t have.

Tom said he could tell Chris seared the salmon too fast. Padma said the white layer was unappealing. Emeril said the flavors were really overpowering. There were too many herbs and they were too big. Patti said she loved the potatoes but the salmon was too basic.

Tom told Heather that her meat not very good and then the dish went awry from there. Padma said the dumplings were dry, chewy and overcooked. Patti said both Heather and Grayon’s meat were too hard to cut. Heather said she second guessed herself and was afraid to use the pressure cooker. Tom said that Beverly used it and she was not in the room.

Winner

Beverly, Sarah and Edward all gave beautiful dishes with a lot of soul. They were fitting tributes to their inspiration. Patti told Edward that she loved the mushroom in the dish. It reminded her of meat. The presentation was beautiful. Tom told Beverly that everything in her dish had a purpose. It was a beautiful dish. Emeril said Sarah showed a lot of technique in her dish and the whole thing worked. Sarah was picked as the overall winner.

Final Decision

The losers were called back in. Tom told Chris that he had too many ingredients and he seared the salmon too quickly. Grayson was told she needed to push more and give above and beyond. Heather knew she had to rework the dish, but she didn’t fix the mistake when she realized it. Heather was told to pack her knives.

Last Chance Kitchen

It was Heather versus Nyesha. Nyesha was not a Heather fan so she was thrilled to see her walk through the door. Heather kept giggling while Tom was explaining what was going on, which drove Nyesha crazy. They were told to make a dish that used three techniques: frying, injecting and foaming. The previous chefs came into the kitchen when they started cooking. When they were asking tons of questions and it was distracting Heather. Nyesha decided she was going to make a dessert since she hadn’t made dessert in the competition yet. Heather was having problems with the foam since she had never made it before. Heather managed to get some of her injection juice on some of Nyesha’s dough. It didn’t affect Nyesha, but she thought it was Heather’s way to messing with her.

Nyesha
Brown Butter Foam & Beignet Injected with Caramel Sauce

Tom said it was a good dessert, but the foam was a little heavy.

Heather
Fried Gulf Shrimp Injected with Smoked Paprika & Porcini Mushroom Foam

Tom said he loves the combo of chantrelles and corn so he was excited to see it in her dish. He didn’t think the combination of goat cheese and prawns worked.

Tom found the Heather’s shrimp overcooked, so he picked Nyesha as the winner. She would continue to be the reigning champ.

Questions

1. Heather actually behaved herself in the episode and didn’t attack Beverly. Did she get it out of her system or did karma get her?
2. What did you think about the Twitter challenge?
3. What was up with the bad meat from both Grayson and Heather?

Photos: Bravo TV

The chefs had to pair a dish with tequila, which also meant there was some tequila shots to be had. Then, they had to create a dish using game meat. I’m not the biggest fan of game meat so I don’t think I would have liked most of the dishes in the main challenge for this portion of the competition.

Quickfire Challenge

The guest judge for the episode was Tim Love, chef/owner of The Lonesome Dove Western Bistro in Ft. Worth. For the quickfire challenge, the chefs had to create a dish that pairs well with the tequila of their choice. They had a variety of tequilas to choose from Don Julio. Ty thought that Chris J. overcooked his chicken breasts. Paul saw Ty using clams and thought it was a perfect pairing to have something salty and briny with tequila.

Least Favorites

Heather – Reposado
Mango Avocado Salad with Rock Shrimp

Heather said she was trying to pair the shrimp with mango. Tim said he had a problem seeing how it paired with the tequila. He said the dish felt like she liked tequila and then decided to make a rock shrimp dish. He said he felt like it was a new special at a new chain restaurant.

Chris J. – Blanco
Pan-Seared Chicken with Lime Vinaigrette

Tim said the chicken was dry on the palate. It stuck on his teeth and he said the only highlight of the dish was the quinoa.

Sarah – Blanco
Fennel Risotto with Glazed Scallops

Sarah had tequila in the dish too. It was a bit overpowering. Tim said with the tequila in the dish, it was like adding lemon juice to cream. He also felt the risotto was undercooked.

Middle of the Road

Beverly – Reposado
Cold-Smoked Green Tea Oyster

Tim could taste a bit of smoke from the tequila and oysters. He found it interesting.

Edward – Anejo
Bok Choy Lettuce Wrap with Lamb

Tim said it was a very interesting pairing. Heather was in the background giving Ed’s dish a questionable look after hearing it had cactus and mango on the plate.

Grayson – Anejo
Sesame Cod with Tequila Brown Sugar Glaze

Grayson said she never drinks tequila. She’s from Wisconsin so she’s more of a beer girl.

Dakota – 1942
Lamb with Medjool Date Pistou

Tom found the date really sweet.

Most Favorite

Chris C. – Blanco
Raw Oyster with Tequila Tapioca Pearl & Sea Salt Air

Tim said it made him feel like he was at the beach. He also said that blanco is really hard to pair with a dish so he thought that Chris did a great job.

Lindsay – Anejo
Salmon with Fennel Puree & Brown Butter Sauce 

Tim said the salmon was cooked nicely. He could taste the tequila flavor all throughout the dish.

Ty-Lor – 1942
Steamed Clams in Thai Style Fish Caramel Sauce

Tim thought the tequila added a sweetness to the clams. The spiciness was a good contrast to the tequila and the greenery was good too. Tim picked Ty’s dish as the overall winner since it was simple and clean. He didn’t win immunity but he did win $5,000.

Elimination Challenge

The chefs were paired up for the next challenge by who they were standing next to at the time. That meant that Heather was paired with her arch nemesis, Beverly. Oh no! The chefs had to cook one course for a game dinner with each cooking one of the six courses featuring a favorite protein of their assigned guest chef. There was also a twist to the challenge. They would be voting for the bottom three dishes and those teams would be up for elimination. The judges would make the final decision about which team would be sent home, which meant a double elimination. The good news was the winning team would split $10,000.

While working on their dishes, Heather told Beverly constantly that she did not want her dish to be Asian. She said that her style was rustic American. Apparently, it was okay to create rustic American dishes over and over again, but Beverly making Asian dishes constantly was not acceptable. At another point, Beverly was saying she was not a fan of the onions being in the dish. Heather told her that it was part of her rustic style, so they would just have to compromise. Heather’s definition of compromise meant Beverly had to do it her way. Nyesha was annoyed with Heather in the last episode. Edward thought she was being a bitch. Even Grayson was being annoyed by Heather, but Grayson also had to deal with Chris J. She was worried he was going to get caught up trying to be too cute with doing some fancy techniques with the sweet potatoes.

Lindsay & Chris C.
Roasted Wild Boar with Kohlrabi Slaw & Farro Fried Rice

Jon Shook thought that if they would have left the marinade off, the boar would have shined through better. Tom thought the sauce was a nice addition to the dish, but he didn’t find the dish exciting overall.

Beverly & Heather
Five-Spice Duck Breast with Creamy Polenta & Pickled Cherries

John Currence didn’t think the pickled cherries work. Hugh Acheson said the duck breast could have been rendered a little more. He found it a bit rubbery. Vinny Dotolo thought it was a little too safe. Paul said he wished it had crispy skin.

Grayson & Chris J. 
Juniper Roasted Elk with Sweet Potato & Bouquet of Citrus Greens

Padma wondered why the sweet potato was cut like that. Chris started to explain he was trying to go for a chain link fence look, but it didn’t work out exactly. Grayson cut him off and said it was how they envisioned it. They wanted to add height to the dish and it did. The judges looked confused. Tim thought the meat tasted great. Bryan Caswell thought that when he saw the dish, it looked like something off a 1982 banquet menu.

Ed & Ty
Sorghum Quail with Pickled Cherries & Eggplant

Tim said the quail shined. He said he wanted the game to be the center of the plate and it was. Anita Lo said they managed to bring out all the earthy qualities of all the ingredients on the plate.

Dakota & Nyesha
Roasted Rack of Venison with Kabocha Squash & Beet Gratin

Bryan Caswell liked the dish, but the venison was a little blue for him. Tim said the venison flavor was nice. Tom really liked the gratin, but the venison was undercooked.

Sarah & Paul
Squab Breast & Sausage with Nectarine Pickles

Sarah really freaked out about the sausage. It did not turn out like she wanted. She was pretty upset but the judges liked it. Jon Shook liked the sausage and nectarines all together in one bit. Anita would have liked to see some more carmelization on the skin of the breast. Tom said the presentation was sloppy but it was a nice plate of food.

Judges Table 

Winners

Ed and Ty were chosen as the overall winners from the judges. They would be splitting $10,000. After that choice was made, then they had to go back into the kitchen and vote for the three losing dishes to send back to the judges.

Losers

After some bickering, it was decided that the elk, duck and venison dishes were the worst. Tom did point out that he didn’t think there were any bad dishes. Tom said he really liked all the components of the venison dish, but it was a game challenge and the venison was undercooked. Hugh thought the elk meat was cooked well, but the sweet potato on top was confusing. There was some confusion about the role Nyesha played on the team. She said when she checked on Dakota, it was too late to fix it. The judges were confused why she didn’t check in on her teammate throughout the process. Chris agreed that he shouldn’t have put it on the plate since it didn’t come out like he wanted, but he did think it went with the flavors of the plate. Tom felt like it was put on the dish because he was stuck on that chain link fence idea so he was trying to make it work.

Heather said she didn’t think they should be there for the duck. She said she thought she was there because she was top in the last challenge. I don’t think anyone thinks Heather is a threat at this point.  Tom asked Beverly a question, but Heather cut her off after one word and said their dish suffered since it was two chefs trying to create one plate. Apparently no one else had the same challenge. Tim said the first bite of the duck dish was good, but he felt it needed another 5-8 minutes of rendering. Tom said it did’t feel like a finished dish, but a random bunch of ingredients on a plate. Heather started to blame Beverly for every thing with the dish saying she made it too Asian. Um, no judge said anything about it being too Asian or if any Asian flavors made the dish unsuccessful. Heather brought up complaints about the last challenge, since it seems she hasn’t ever watched Top Chef before and learned they never look at past challenges when making a decision. They only look at the food in the current challenge. Dakota cut her off and said she didn’t like where the conversation was going and Beverly was a good chef.

Final Decision

Chris and Grayson were told that their dish was all over the place with too many competing flavors that didn’t work together very well. Dakota and Nyesha were told that the venison was really under cooked. Heather and Beverly were told that the duck wasn’t crispy, they didn’t render enough fat out and it seemed like there were two different dishes on the plate. They needed to work together to make a complete dish. Since it was a game challenge and the game that was least successful was Dakota and Nyesha so they were asked to pack their knives.

Dakota was devastated since she was in charge of cooking the venison. She did not like that what she did was sending Nyesha home. I wished that she had been on a team with Heather so she could have gone home instead of Nyesha, who seems to be talented.

Last Chance Kitchen

It was three chefs competing to get the title to say in the game between last week’s champ Whitney against Nyesha and Dakota. They had to create a dish only using a wok and cactus as the main ingredient.

Whitney
Cactus & Chicken Fried Rice with Sriracha & Soy Sauce

Tom thought the flavor and texture was nice. He couldn’t really taste the cactus all that much. It was a nice and traditional wok dish.

Nyesha
Asian-Style Scallops with Prickly Pear Garnish, Cilantro & Thai Basil

Tom thought it looked beautiful. He liked she actually used the cactus juice to make the sauce. He could taste the flavor of the cactus throughout the dish and the scallops were perfectly cooked.

Dakota
Shrimp Tostada with Watermelon & Prickly Pear Shooter

Tom loved that she understood how to get the slime out of the cactus. The shellfish was perfectly cooked. he found it to be a nice dish.

Overall, Tom thought that Nyesha used the wok the best and incorporated the cactus flavor into her dish with the most success. She won the chef’s jacket from Whitney. Dakota was thrilled Nyesha was still able to compete.

Questions

1. What did you think of Heather and her “too Asian” comments towards Beverly’s cooking?
2. What did you think about Heather bringing up the shrimp complaint from the last challenge at Judges’ Table?
3. Do you think anyone will ever get beyond a two-win streak in Last Chance Kitchen?

Photos: Bravo TV

It was an odd season. None of the teams really excited me and none really annoyed me. They all seemed relatively pleasant, which can make for a non-exciting season overall. It might have been different if some of the earlier eliminated teams had made it farther in the race.

As the finale began, teams found out they were flying to Atlanta. Sandy declared that sucked. I first thought she was not a fan of the city, but she thought it gave the NFL team an advantage since they lived there. This has helped teams in the past, but other times it hasn’t made a difference.

After the teams landed in Atlanta from the same flight, they went to Flight Safety International and had to land a simulator aircraft successfully. One person on the was the pilot and the other was the co-pilot. Boring dating couple arrived first and Jeremy decided to be the pilot.  Control Freak decided Ernie would pilot. I was confused why Cindy didn’t want to do it since she does everything better than Ernie, according to her. What surprised me even more was Marcus said he hated to fly and then was the pilot. Errr, why not have Amani be the pilot then?

Proving that Jeremy is really good at driving/flying thing, they did it perfect on the first try and were out of there. The Control Freak team failed the first time, but not because of Ernie! Cindy didn’t maintain the necessary air speed velocity so their plane was falling out of the sky from going too slow. On the second try, they passed. Marcus had a really hard time landing the plane and keeping it on the runway. It took him 12 tries before he was done. Not once did he decide to let Amani fly. They didn’t state that they couldn’t switch once they decided who was piloting the plane, but maybe that was a rule. Either way, Amani was the calmest person alive while Marcus became more and more frustrated at not being able to land. He did a lot of punching of the cockpit ceiling when he failed.

The next clue told teams to find a former residence called “The Dump.” It was where Margaret Mitchell wrote “Gone With the Wind.” The dating couple asked a guy where The Dump was located and he sent them to a furniture store with the same name. The Control Freak team borrowed their taxi driver’s cell phone and called information. They also mentioned “residence” when looking for it so they went to the right place. That is how the Control Freak team passed the dating couple who spent quite a while wandering around the furniture store looking for a clue box before they finally decided, it was not a “former residence.”

Once teams were at The Dump, they had to type out their next clue on an old fashion clickity-clackity typewriter. It was so old, it didn’t believe in the number 1! Teams had to type a 1, but had to figure out to use the lowercase l in its place. Oh so tricky! Ernie decided to do the roadblock, but then Cindy fretted a lot after they found out it involved typing since apparently Ernie sucks at that and Cindy would do so much better. While he slowly typed inside the house, Cindy freaked out about how long it was taking, even though they were the only team there and Ernie finished before any other teams showed up. When dating couple showed up, Sandy did it and seemed to do it quickly. Marcus did it when they eventually showed up, but it was so far after the other two teams, you just knew how the race was headed.

The next clue made the teams figure out what 44-715-74, which was Hank Aaron’s jersey number, how many homeruns he made when he broke a record and what year it took place. It all lead the teams to Turner field to find their next clue. Control Freak went to a hotel and asked to borrow the front desk computer to research it. The front desk guy said they normally couldn’t do that but he would let them, then he wandered away. I’m guessing he thought it was an awesome time for a break. What if someone wanted to check into the hotel? He did eventually come back when Control Freaks found the answer. Dating couple also found the answer out at another hotel. The NFL team were never shown doing this part of the race.

The clue at Turner Field led the teams to a map challenge. One team member had to hang from a big billboard size map and connect in order all the countries they went to on the leg and none of the countries on the map were named. The other team member was on the ground and could shout out help. Cindy climbed up and didn’t need any help from Ernie. She did it fairly quickly and they were headed to the pit stop. Dating couple had Jeremy up there with Sandy helping him. They almost got it right but forgot Indonesia. When they were told it was wrong, Sandy asked where he put Indonesia and they realized they had forgotten it and fixed it. They took off to the pit stop too. Once again, NFL wasn’t shown doing this task at all. Guess what will happen??

While driving to the pit stop, the Control Freak’s cab could see the pit stop location but was having trouble finding where to turn to get onto the property. The editing made it look like the dating couple were right behind them, but the Control Freak team made it to the map in first place. They were very excited and Cindy informed Phil that her parents expected her to win. Good grief! Then they said they were starting a charity with their winnings, which I guess is nice. In second place was the dating couple and at some point the NFL team showed up. What I’m surprised about is that they weren’t in last place in the finale due to getting lost. It was for some other reason!

Questions

1. Were you happy with who won or do you wish another one of the final three teams won the competition?
2. Do you wish another team had made the final three and won the race?
3. Did you think the map challenge was a little too easy since the teams didn’t get stuck there like they have on past similar final challenges?

While I liked the trickier end to the leg with the pit stop clue, an odd set of circumstances led to a stronger team getting booted out of the finale and some teams that had no clue where to go, making it into the final three!

Before we get started, I have to mention that I found it super cool that the teams got to sleep in the Atomium that we saw in the previous leg.

Teams started out in Belgium where they had to dress up as detectives from the comic strip “Adventures of Tin Tin”. They had to figure out the names of the characters. They were one of three different names. All the teams left the pit stop in the middle of the night so they ran into a lot of drunk Belgians. Some knew who they were while others didn’t. The snowboarders were told by one guy that they looked like Charlie Chaplin, which they did. They didn’t know who that was though. Really? At one point, they had figured out they had something to do with “Adventures of Tin Tin” while doing some research online but still thought they were Charlie Chaplin. They didn’t try to figure out how Charlie Chaplin could be related to Tin Tin or find the names of the comic strip characters while they were researching online. The other teams had no issues finding out the character names and they all got the clue before the snowboarders. It didn’t matter though since they all took the same train/plane combo to Panama City.

Once in Panama, they were dropped off by their taxis in the pitch black of night. They climbed into some small boats and were taken to a village. The boring dating couple and snowboarders took off at the same time in the boats, but the snowboarders got ahead since the dating couple’s boat got stuck on a sand bar. The NFL and control freak teams left at the same time shortly after the first two teams. When they got to the village, they grabbed numbers so they could get a tribal tattoo the next day. They spent the night in hammocks on the island.

The next morning, the teams received henna tattoos that said San Francisco Bay Towers. The towers were located in Panama City so they went back from where they came from and found a roadblock. The game still has the rule where each team member has to do six tasks at the most so it was determined that Andy, Sandy, Cindy and Amani had to do it. They had to walk across a tightrope on the top of one tower to the other, grab a clue and walk back. There was safety gear and they had something to hold onto to help walk across. It was a bit freaky though. Andy walked like he was just taking a stroll. Sandy was scared of heights but she got through it too before Cindy and Amani got up to the top. Cindy went third, followed by Amani.

Next, the teams had to find a statue. The snowboarders’ taxi driver said he knew where it was located so they took off. The dating couple’s taxi driver figured out where they had to go and then he gave the directions to the Control Freak and NFL taxi drivers so they knew where to go when their teams got down from the building. Sandy and Jeremy were not too thrilled about their cab driver sharing that information, but they learned about it after it had happened so they couldn’t do much to stop it.

The next clue was a detour. The teams had the choice to deliver seafood to different stalls in a fish market or make one pair of sandals with leather and straps. I thought the sandal making sounded harder, but most teams picked that one except the NFL team. They did realize that their taxi drivers had made their own alliance so even though they told him to take them to the fish market, he just followed the other taxi cabs to the sandal making place. Most teams would have decided to just stay and make the sandals, but the NFL team really wanted to carry smelly fish so they had their taxi driver take them where he was supposed to go. Because of they didn’t have to compete with other teams at the fish market, they finished their task second overall. The snowboarders had no issues with the sandal task, but both boring dating couple and control freak teams had a bit of trouble with their straps getting twisted. Once they straightened them out, they finished and moved on.

The hardest part of the leg was at the Cathedral Square. The teams knew they would get the clue to the pit stop there, but they didn’t know what it was exactly. They knew it had something to do with the dancers in the square. There was a message written in to the pattern of one of the dresses that said Panama Viejo. There was also a picture of the building in the belt buckle of all the dancers. I liked that the task was a bit tricky instead of just telling them where to go.

The snowboarders arrived first. They were looking all over the dancers and saw that “Balboa” was written on all their jewelry. They didn’t realize that was their currency in Panama so they told their taxi drive to take them to Balboa. He took them to the Panama Canal. Nope! They were then told at the canal, they could go to Balboa Avenue and there was also a statue somewhere. They went off in that direction while the rest of the teams were at the square. Both the NFL and Control Freak team thought it was Balboa, but Jeremy made a sketch of the building and showed it to his driver. He said it was Panama Viejo so they got in their cab to see if it was the pit stop. What they soon realized was that their cab driver was on the phone with his cab buddies telling them where he was headed. They were not too thrilled about that but it already happened by the time they realized it. The other cab drivers ignored what NFL and Control Freak had told them about Balboa and just went to Panama Viejo.

At this time, the snowboarders had made their way back to the square realizing they needed to start over. They missed all the other teams and their cab driver was not in on the alliance so they were in the dark because they were so far ahead of the other teams that their mistake ended up putting them behind. Andy did see the message on the dress finally. They were the only team to find it. They headed off to the pit stop too.

Due to the weird cab alliance and the snowboarders missing out on other teams figuring out the clue, the final three teams going to the finale ended up being boring dating couple (wont a trip to Turks and Caico), Control Freaks and the NFL team. The snowboarders ended up being eliminated. Bizarre leg!

Questions

1. Do you wish that the snowboarders had made the final three? Do you believe that being so far ahead of the other teams ended up harming them or they made other mistakes that led to them not making it into the final three?
2. What do you think about the cab driver alliance and how they helped determine the final three teams?
3. Are you amazed at how well the boring dating couple did on the leg and how they seem to be improving as a team as the race as gone along?